The Edge of Glory video...not so edgy

The (relatively) subdued music video for Lady Gaga's "The Edge of Glory" hit the web today, and I'm kinda underwhelmed. No Jesus biker gangs? No alien births? No prison lesbians making out? This video under any other name would be a pretty cool video, but we've come to expect such shock value from the Lady. Maybe the restraint is what makes it shocking? Either way, I still love this bitch.

Although, is anyone else getting major Rent vibes from this video? Even a touch of Brooklyn: The Musical?

Not the red leather pants again...

Joining the race for the Best Song by a Reality Star Grammy Award (no, there isn't actually such a thing...settle down, Kathy Griffin) is Simon Van Kempen from The Real Housewives of New York. All songs by reality stars are pretty special, but there are several things that make Simon's "I Am Real" particularly amazing:

The use of great vocab words like "duality" and "preen".

Mentioning "Twitter" in songs always equals musical credibility...

..as does stealing your wife's bad catch phrases ("thug in a cocktail dress").

Simon looks like a scary German WWE wrestler in the picture.

The lyrics flash on the screen during the video! Just like Sesame Street! Actually, we really do need the written lyrics to decipher the combination of Simon's bad singing and annoyingly pretentious accent.

Lastly, "I Am Real" has one of the most poignant concepts for a celebrity - especially a reality star - to sing about: self-importance! Loves it!

This is my friend!

Diddy has been known to do some over-the-top stunts and great viral videos. I've always felt a kindred spirit with Diddy, we have the same birthday and I got to interview him once. Which of course makes us besties. Well now one of my real life good friends has randomly made his way into Diddy's viral hall of fame by literally being in the right place at the right time. Check out my friend Chris being accosted by Diddy around the 2 minute mark.



And buy Last Train To Paris by Diddy Dirty Money in stores December 14. (You're welcome for the free promotion)

More "Jersey Shore" musics

Expect this jam to be competing with "The Situation" rap for the top spot on itunes this week. Another Grammy worthy musical release from the Jersey Shore cast, DJ Pauly D's "Beat Da Beat Up (It's Time To)". There is nothing even resembling singing in this song, which is what makes it so amazing.

Best lyric: "When that beat hits you, you need to fight back. So what I need you to do right now is get down real low and tap that ground. Keep hittin it! Keep hittin it! Now wind your way up. Break that beat! Break that beat! Now pump! Your! Fist!"

Wise words. Good advice.

When two great things combine

This is TMTH. Hanson, quite possibly my overall all-time favorite band, did a cover of Russel Brand/Aldous Snow's song "Furry Walls". This song and concept is significant as one of the only funny parts of the movie Get Him To The Greek. The furry wall from the movie kinda made my life, and stroking it actually did look really comforting. So when the world hands you a Jeffrey, go ahead, listen to this and stroke the furry wall.

A musical Situation

Mike The Situation woke up one day and said to himself, "I think I want to record a rap song." So he did. That's the way life works when you're a big time reality star. He even got real creative and titled his song "The Situation". You can listen to "The Situation" (the song and the person) here, buy it on itunes really soon, or catch DJ Pauly D spinning it at Karma this summer.

This song isn't bad at all! The Situation is a MUCH better singer than The Countess. I can't really understand many of the words, but there are definitely re-mix horns and multiple mentions of designer names which is what any credible song needs. I'm pretty sure the lyrics are about The Situation being in the club and picking up hoes, but I probably could have told you that before I even listened. The curse words are also blurred out because I guess The Situation wants to stay family friendly...despite the lyric about licking him like ice cream.

Bubblegum tweener pop amazingness

Big Time Rush is easily the best fake show about a real/fake band since S Club 7 in Miami. I discovered this show recently during a lonely night with limited cable in an Atlantic City Hotel room, and I'm kind of obsessed. Big Time Rush airs on Nickelodeon and chronicles the scripted hijinks of real boyband Big Time Rush as they pretend-move to LA to record their first album while living in some sort of compound for kids and teens in the entertainment business. Whether the chicken of the band came before or after the egg of the TV show is unknown, but I don't care because omg they're soooo cute!

From a "musical" standpoint, Big Time Rush is the perfect boyband because it's literally impossible to decide which member is the hottest (though I'm leaning toward Kendall, second from left). The characters on the show are in only high school, and even in real life not a single member is old enough to legally drink alcohol. Perfect. The music is also really catchy with tunes like "Halfway There" and "Big Time". Although, their romantic single "Any Kind of Guy" totally sends the wrong message to the youngins saying they'll be any kind of guy us girls want just to get in our pants impress us. Don't pretend to be who you aren't just to get a date, kids. From a television standpoint, this show has the perfect storm of physical comedy, innocent flirtations, musical numbers, and fat jokes needed to impress Nick's target audience of tweens...and apparently twenty-something entertainment bloggers.

Kendall, I don't care if you are 19 playing a 16-year-old...wanna bang?

What the world needs now is...

BOYBANDS! Or more specifically The Boyband For The Next Generation. Perez Hilton and some other peepz who are important in the music industry are setting out to assemble the next great male musical ensemble featuring singing, dancing, hair gel and probably some amazing matching outfits. Boys between the ages of 13 and 21 can audition by submitting videos of their talents to the project's website, and PLEASE DO because I need more 13-21 year old boys in the media to drool over.

I could not be more excited about this project, because we all know the best boybands are made by wannabe Svengalis manufacturing acts through mass auditions and forcing together young men who may or may not get along. The only thing that could make it better is doing it in front of a reality TV camera (if they're smart, it will come). I still have every episode of O-Town's Making The Band on video cassette and treasure those precious television and musical moments. Plus, the world in general could use a pick-me-up. 1998-2001 was a pretty upbeat era, and I attribute much of it to Chris Kirkpatrick's dreads and Nick Carter's falsetto. I'll take that stimulus package any day...

When happens when Adam Lambert designs a mother-of-the-bride dress?

You get Kelly Clarkson's AMA performance outfit...

Other rando thoughts about last night's American Music Awards:

-People should not be allowed to be nominated for the same award in multiple genres (ex: Taylor Swift in Favorite Female Pop-Rock and Favorite Female Country). Creates too much of a monopoly, and then really who ARE you as a musician?

-On that note, Taylor Swift just shouldn't be allowed to win any more awards in general. Especially if that means beating Lady Gaga or Michael Jackson.

-Yet I don't agree with Michael Jackson being nominated at all in a year when he didn't release any new music. But I'll keep my mouth shut for fear of angry mobs coming after me.

-I'm a country fan and I don't even know who the eff Gloriana are (winners of the T-Mobile Breakthrough Artist Award). And again, anyone who beats Gaga for an award is not okay in my book. They good-naturedly acknowledged their obscurity in their acceptance speech though, so I appreciate the humor.

-Pretty sure SoShy and Nelly Furtado are the same person. Couldn't really tell them apart during Timbaland's performance.

-Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert killed it with their performances...obvi. I also really enjoyed JayZ/Alicia Keys, Whitney Houston and Carrie Underwood. Rihanna: totally overdid it.

-Apparently "bondage sex club" is an acceptable theme for an AMA performance these days. I'm okay with that, it was pretty hot. Honestly though, kinda surprised this one made it to television, ADAM LAMBERT.

Dear CMAs...

Dear CMAs (or Country Music Association Awards if we're being formal),

I thought you were more respectable than to give sympathy awards. I'm not buying that Taylor Swift deserved to be named Entertainer Of The Year, and breaking all odds to do so. She was the youngest recipient ever, first female winner in almost ten years, and broke Kenny Chesney's almost 5-year monopoly (2008, 2007, 2006, and 2004). All this only months after she was victimized in one of the most talked about pop culture moments of the year by having her thunder stolen by Kanye West at the VMAs. Consider my eyebrows raised.

Also, Darius Rucker winning New Artist Of The Year? Have you never heard of Hootie and the Blowfish, one of the biggest bands of the 90's? Darius Rucker winning this award is the equivalent to if Stevn Tyler were to have really left Aerosmith, started a solo career, and won the Best New Artist Grammy. Ludacris. Plus, apparently Darius was the first African-American to be nominated in like 40 years. I've never been a fan of affirmative action.

Disappointed (except in Carrie Underwood's prettiness),

Megan

He's so pretty

The cover art for Adam Lambert's upcoming debut album For Your Entertainment has been released, and quite frankly I hate it. I love me some Glambert, but this cover is some horrible concoction of Scissor Sisters meets Xanadu gone wrong. It also feels a little too airbrushed and not quite raw enough to capture the essence of Adam. Everything is just so glossy and perfect. I like a man who knows his way around a stick of eyeliner, but when a guy does his makeup better than I do that's a problem.

That being said, I wouldn't kick him out of bed. And I'm definitely looking forward to the musics!

Dear Miley Cyrus...

Dear Miley Cyrus,

If you sing songs about feeling better while listening to OTHER people's music, your music probably doesn't count as real. Yes, I also like to nod my head and move my hips like yea when a Britney or Jay-Z song comes on. But if one is a legitimate musician, shouldn't your own songs have the same effect, or more? Contrary to the fact that it's #1 on iTunes right now, this proves that "Party in the U.S.A." is a sucky song if even you don't want to listen to it when you're out.

Plus everyone knows that you don't wear kicks to The Club, you can learn that just from watching The Hills.

Please go away,

Megan

Nothing sketcky going on here

I really like that there's absolutely no preferential treatment or not-so-hidden agendas in the music selections for the new season of Gossip Girl. It simply must be a coincidence that Cobra Starship's "Good Girls Go Bad" (featuring vocals by Leighton Meester) was played during not one but TWO crucial Blair moments in tonight's episode. Come on, Gossip Girl, I expected better of you...

In several ways perhaps. Two episodes in, the jury's still out on season 3 of Gossip Girl in my opinion. The show used to be ridiculous and unpredictable in a way that you felt like you were witnessing an exaggerated truth about a specific subculture of the world that is the NYC prep school scene. However now that most of the characters are in college, and college is something that an overwhelming portion or 20-somethings have experienced, we all can feel that the events are a little more than a tad unrealistic. Unless your school allowed sushi and sake martini parties in the freshman dorm common room, or advertised keg parties on the roof complete with a DJ and PA system. Then by all means, correct my cynicism. And then send me an application.

Emo-untry? Countr-emo?

It must be said that despite the seemingly tell-tale classification, there is by far a genre of music that can make me cry more easily than emo. We're talking full out, immediate, wheezing, ugly crying that ensues when I hear certain...country songs. It ain't pretty. So while we have a good theme running and I'm in an all around sucky mood (Sorry, I really miss Pittsburgh. Work with me here), I felt compelled to compile a list of the top 10 most tear-worthy country songs:

10. Taylor Swift, "Teardrops on My Guitar" - This one is pretty cheesy so it had to be low on the list, but it so perfectly conveys teenage heartbreak and what it's like not to be noticed...so you pour it all out in the music. It just gets me for pathetic girly reasons. (Admittedly almost every subsequent Taylor Swift song was about the exact same thing, but this was the original so it's better)
9. Brad Paisley/Alison Krauss, "Whiskey Lullaby" - Suicide over a lost love. That's all I got to say about that.
8. Darryl Worley, "If Something Should Happen" - A man going into surgery asks his best friend to basically father his children and take care of his wife because he's scared he's going to...well, you know. The description of the scenarios are what gets ya with this one.
7. Trace Adkins, "You're Gonna Miss This" - Watching children grow up and savoring the precious moments. When Trace sang this on the Celebrity Apprentice finale with his daughter in the audience I just lost it.
6. Keith Urban, "Tonight I Wanna Cry" - Ummmm, nuf said? Sometimes we really need to let it all out
5. Rascal Flatts, "Sara Beth (Skin)" - She had cancer so her prom date shaved his head to make her feel better. And he still thought she looked beautiful. She was dancing with her very first true love just like in her daydreams. *Sigh*
4. Brooks & Dunn, "Believe" - This song is simply haunting...in a beautiful way. Old Man Wrigley dies and a young man loses who he perhaps never knew was his best friend. This old man taught him some serious life lessons.
3. Brad Paisley, "Letter To Me" - For some reason I've been hearing this one a lot lately and it gets me every time. Re-living past loves, talking to your teenage self with grown-up wisdom, being proud of said teenage self, and Brad's melodic voice make this one a real tear-jerker.
2. Carrie Underwood, "Just a Dream" - It was hard to pick just one Carrie song for the list since on different days and different levels of PMS, 90% of her music can trigger the waterworks for me. However, I figured an 18-year-old widow with an un-wed fiance taken by war has the most universal tear potential. Runners up: "Don't Forget to Remember Me", "The Night Before (Life Goes On)"
1. Jamey Johnson, "The Dollar" - The son misses his workaholic father and pinches his pennies to literally buy time with his dad?!? Omg how could I not be a blubbering mess? I can't go on...

Country is so the new emo y'all.

Unapologetically TMTH

Danny Noriega is def in my top 5 favorite American Idol contestants of all-time, but unfortunately some people weren't lllli-king it and he was voted off just shy of the top 12 of season 7. Well the world just got a whole lot fiercer because he's back with an original song and video "24/7" that is campy and ferocious and not apologizing for it. This song is so going to be my jam for the rest of summer and if you know me, you know I am not even kidding. It's perfect because Danny is just being himself and giving us what we want. He knows why he has this 15 minutes to work with and he is capitalizing on it with his signature catch phrase "TMTH" (too much to handle) and just-bitchy-enough references/digs to Idol. He even got Kara to guest star as this "Diamonique" girl! (Wait, you mean actually that's NOT her showing off her "singing" skills and being an annoying fame whore?) Plus I think we all love a combination between tweener IM abbreviations and references to buying drinks from people who are not old enough to do so.

Okay, so the lyrics to this song are a hot mess, but it doesn't matter! "24/7" is seriously catchy and totes danceable with the beat alone. And this video with neon light effects and an ample amount of hair flips is the perfect compliment to a pure pop/dance anthem. Plus he gives good face. Danny is one fierce bitch and he knows it, so don't hate on this genius.

Oh, and don't even make the Adam Lambert comparison, they are so not the same.

Blast from the Past: Third Eye Blind

Before we get started, let's just enter this into the record books as what happens when I blog after spending a desperate hour on an online dating site, drinking two glasses of merlot, and deciding it was a good idea to put my fake glasses on and pretend that Im indie. Trust me, merlot and email don't mix, so I am proofreading this entry very carefully.

Blast from the Past: Third Eye Blind!

Remember circa 1997 when you were in circa middle school and this was a band that you could listen to which was mainstream accessible but you still felt like you had a lil rock street cred? That's what 3eb is to me. They broke when I was in 7th grade and I totes copped that shit, meaning their self-titled debut album. Okay, so did a lot of people, but I actually listened to the whole thing and not just "Semi Charmed Life". To this day I can still sing a majority of the album from memory including the sped-up extra-extended bridge in the aforementioned song. Cudos to me. Memories I have of this album include everyone thinking they were so cool and indie for listening to "Jumper", and also "Graduate" playing in The Real World: Seattle while they were white water rafting or something like that. Actually, pretty much 90% of this album made it into that season of The Real World in some form or another. It was just kinda the defining sound of that time. 3eb's second album Blue was also pretty kick A.

Years later, 3eb would play a free show at my college's University Weekend. Everybody went and relished in how much they used to love this band, yet most people only knew two songs. My friend Alex would stare at me in amazement as I sang along with most of the concert, and I would explain that's just how I rolled back in the day. And then another four years later in 2009 I would randomly decide to constantly spin their entire catalogue on my ipod and love every minute of it. With bands from the same era like No Doubt and Sugar Ray reuniting I guess it just feels so gooood. Plus, I never realized it but I guess Stephan Jenkins is kind of a hottie. Yah, I'd tap that....but probably get The Herp in the process.

Good musics, unfortunately chosen song title

A few months ago it was announced that my all time #1 crush Taylor Hanson and a few other people who used to be in successful bands (James Iha of The Smashing Pumpkins, Adam Schlesinger of Fountains of Wayne, and Bun E. Carlos of Cheap Trick) got bored and formed an "all-star" band. Well, I thought they were joking. I even wrote it in my dairy "Taylor made a very funny joke today..." I thought this would turn out like when VH1 tried to make the "Man Band" on reality tv two years ago with old fat guys who used to be in boybands. (Never heard anything about it? Exactly) But Taylor Hanson's band Tinted Windows are apparently taking themselves very seriously. They did a bunch of interviews and networking at South X Southwest this year (which lead to Hanson's big break 14 YEARS AGO!!), are doing several tv appearances in the next few weeks, and have an album coming out in actual stores on April 21. Well recently they've been debuting a few songs over the internets with a series of videos and interviews. Let's take a look together at their first single "Kind of a Girl":

Tinted Windows "Kind of a Girl"


Is this for reals? It looks like they're performing on some cheesy low budget Euro-pop music show in the 1970's. The flashing colored lights and fade on the split screen are weirding me out. I really hope this is a planned "concept" because if this is a real television show and this host and graphics are serious, I have no hope left for the world.

That being said, the music is good. Very old school poprock. Very "That Thing You Do". But would I have the heart to turn my back on my TayTay and even admit if the music was bad? Probs not.

Dear Flo Rida...

Dear Flo Rida,

I thought you were an "artist"? (I use the term loosely) I mean, you had so many thought provoking hit songs such as "Low" and "In the Ayer", but you have truly disappointed me with your latest single, "Right Round".

First of all, covers of this song have so been done before. I'm over it. Originally I believe was by Dead or Alive, then called "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)" in 1984. Covers have since been done by such reputable artists as Jessica Simpson, Marilyn Manson, and Dope. Is it creative? No.

Secondly, it is not appropriate to insert sexual lyrics into a song and expect a guaranteed hit. Your lyric "You spin my head right round, right round, when you go down, when you go down down" is hardly classy. Okay, so maybe sexual lyrics do get the public attention, but is this really the message we want to be sending to the kiddies?

So please, do what you should have done a loooong time ago. Just go away. And get your regrettably catchy tunes out of the clubs and out of my head!

Damn you!,
Megan

Isn't it ironic...

Ponder this one for a sec:
The song "Proud", theme for reality TV show extraordinaire "The Biggest Loser", is sang by a British artist named Heather Small.

Yes, it's been around for awhile, but thought that was kinda funny. And the song is so my new jam!

Loves it!

Britney Spears's leaked music video for her new single Circus.

Leave it to BritBrit to spray herself with her own perfume, Curious, at the beginning of the video (the pretty blue bottle). I suppose if you're going to stoop to product placement, why not do it with your own products? And I must admit, 5 years or so ago I bought Curious and still have the empty bottle sitting around somewhere because I loved it that much.

This is great though y'all, Britney really is making a comeback this time unlike last year's shiteous try. Keep it comin, Brit!