Diet: Day 1

BREAKFAST--1/2 GRAPEFRUIT, 1 SLICE TOAST, 2 TBS. PEANUT BUTTER, COFFEE OR TEA
I usually don't eat breakfast so I'm looking at this meal as something to compensate for the light lunches in the system.  The toast with peanut butter was great, but I'm realizing that I don't actually like grapefruits very much despite their amazing smell.  They have a sour aftertaste, plus how the hell do you actually eat the things?  Fork?  Do you peel them?  Who knows. Conversely, I'm learning that I really do like tea.  Off to a good start for the day.

LUNCH--1/2 CUP TUNA, 1 SLICE TOAST, COFFEE OR TEA
Due to meetings at work, I didn't eat lunch until about 3pm (ideally would have been about 1:30 or 2pm).  I was doing okay with hunger though.  I had absolutely no problem with the assigned foods in this meal, but I had to eat so slowly just to convince myself that I was eating a fulfilling meal.  By the time I left the office three and a half hours later I was struggling.  And then tortured myself by walking past McDonalds, Red Lobster (who currently has Endless Shrimp), and numerous other tempting street food vendors.  At this point I want every food I see, am questioning how I'm going to get through these three days, and cannot wait to get home for dinner.

DINNER--2 SLICES ANY TYPE OF MEAT (ABOUT 3OZ), 1 CUP GREEN BEANS, 1/2 BANANA, 1 SMALL APPLE, 1 CUP VANILLA ICE CREAM
This was definitely a turnaround point.  For my meat, I chose sliced lunch meat turkey.  As I was preparing my meal, I immediately noticed that I was getting a lot more food than at lunch.  And I hadn't even scooped out the ice cream yet!  Dinner was satisfying and tasted great.  I don't eat a lot of fruit in my daily life, but found myself wondering why after thoroughly enjoying the apple and banana. (eeple and baneenee?) I'm not a big dessert person and was full enough to have easily skipped the ice cream, but in the interest of following the plan exactly as prescribed I forced it down my throat.  And it was good.

I then prepared the hard boiled eggs for tomorrow and the rest of the cycle (a new skill I Googled and taught myself), feeling good and confident about this process.

Diet? :/

I've decided to try a new diet, and it's been suggested that I blog about it. Though dieting is less than fabulous, I suppose at this point in the progression of this blog any post is better than no post.  No?

There are many variations of this diet, but it's known as the "3 Day Diet" or "The Military Diet".  You're on for three days, off for four.  Though I'm assuming "off" doesn't mean you're allowed to eat The Baconator.

The version of the plan I'm following is below, and looking it over makes me feel confident that this is a diet I can realistically stick to.  I love food and hate small portions, and it seems like I will still have a decent quantity of food and a fair amount of yummyness.  Hot dogs?  Hell yes!  I went grocery shopping for the week last night and started the diet today.  Stay tuned...

DAY 1: BREAKFAST--1/2 GRAPEFRUIT, 1 SLICE TOAST, 2 TBS. PEANUT BUTTER, COFFEE OR TEA

LUNCH--1/2 CUP TUNA, 1 SLICE TOAST, COFFEE OR TEA

DINNER--2 SLICES ANY TYPE OF MEAT (ABOUT 3OZ), 1 CUP GREEN BEANS, 1/2 BANANA, 1 SMALL APPLE, 1 CUP VANILLA ICE CREAM

DAY 2: BREAKFAST--1 EGG, 1 SLICE TOAST, 1/2 BANANA

LUNCH--1 CUP COTTAGE CHEESE (OR 1 SLICE CHEDDAR CHEESE), 1 HARD BOILED EGG, 5

SALTINE CRACKERS

DINNER--2 HOT DOGS, (no buns), 1 CUP BROCCOLI, 1/2 CUP CARROTS, 1/2 BANANA, 1/2 CUP VANILLA ICE CREAM

DAY 3: BREAKFAST--5 SALTINE CRACKERS, 1 SLICE CHEDDAR CHEESE, 1 SMALL APPLE

LUNCH--1 HARD BOILED EGG, 1 SLICE TOAST

DINNER--1 CUP TUNA, 1/2 BANANA, 1 CUP VANILLA ICE CREAM

DIET WORKS ON CHEMICAL BREAKDOWN AND IS PROVEN. DO NOT VARY OR SUBSTITUTE ANY OF THE ABOVE FOODS. SALT AND PEPPER MAY BE USED, BUT DO NOT USE ANY OTHER SEASONING. DIET IS TO BE USED THREE DAYS AT A TIME.

IN THREE DAYS, YOU SHOULD LOSE 10 POUNDS. AFTER THREE DAYS OF DIETING, YOU CAN EAT YOUR NORMAL FOODS, BUT DO NOT OVER DO IT. AFTER YOUR 4 DAYS OF NORMAL EATING, START BACK ON THE 3 DAY DIET. YOU CAN LOSE UP TO 40 POUNDS IN A MONTH IF YOU STICK TO THIS DIET. IT IS A SAFE DIET.

REMEMBER: DO NOT EAT BETWEEN MEALS!

NOTE: COFFEE OR TEA THE FIRST TWO MEALS OF DAY ONE ONLY. WATER ONLY FROM THEN ON.

Bravo continues to provide gems

Bravo had their "upfronts" today, which is a fancy industry term for an announcement of what new TV shows they're planning to brainwash us with.  Here are the shows you'll be addicted to in the coming months, and whether or not I give my stamp of approval.  Click the linkey for actual factual info.


"Silicon Valley" - I did the Googling and yes Randi Zuckerberg is related to Mark, so this show should be legit.  And dramaful.

"Life After Top Chef" - Genius.  As much as I love Blais and Spike though, I really hope they go for the more obscure people as well.  Stephen from TC: DC needs to be back in my life.

"Below Deck" - Lame.  Since they're co-workers they probably won't hook up (as much).  And who wants to watch reality tv about non-rich people?  Ick.

"Huh?" - My thoughts exactly.  Too much technology and no Zuckerbergs.

"SUR" - As much as I love Lisa Van Der Pump, I don't know about this one.  I highly doubt dogs are allowed in the SUR kitchen, and without Giggy I can't fully co-sign this.

"Miss Advised" - A relationship show and a good pun can win me over any day.  Plus I like Emily Morse.

"Newlyweds: The First Year" - Won't work.  There was already THE "Newlyweds" reality show, and adding a subtitle won't hide the fact that this will never measure up to the original.

"Gallery Girls" - No.  First of all, too many characters for us to get to know (7).  Plus no one cares about art.

"LA Shrinks" - Has a chance, but will have to really fight for a spot on my DVR.  This show isn't immediately grabbing my attention, but there is unpredictability in the world of crazies.

"Decades" - This sounds like a soap opera my grandma would have watched in the 80's, but I think it's actually the name of a vintage shop.  So been done before.

"The Kandi Factory" - I'd rather see Kandi Burruss do a show about sex toys than music, but this should still work out okay.  I applaud the Housewives who actually have real skillz to pay the billz.

Unfortunately, several awful Bravo shows have actually been renewed ("Million Dollar Decorators", "Chef Roble & Co", and all time fail "Pregnant in Heels").  And even more unfortunately, "Boys To Manzo" is noticeably absent from the list.

Happy Fashion Week!

To kick off New York Fashion Week and my (hopeful) return to blogging, everyone needs to see this.  And don't even pretend it's not true because you biotches know you have said this s*it.  I totes have.  And I agree that I'm soooo not eating til Fashion Week so...good thing it's Fashion Week.



http://knowyourmeme.com/videos/29312-shit-girls-say