What's next, an effin scrunchie?

So I've decided that stirrup pants are back. Yep, you heard me right. I rocked a modern version to work yesterday and got a phenomenal response. But they must be done right or...catastrophe.

Wear stirrup tights, not actual pants. They should be very thick tights, almost leggings. Make sure the stirrup part is thicker than the 80's version. It should actually cover the top of your foot, and just barely have the heel cut out in the back. Make sure the hole is reinforced unlike those homemade hand-stirrup hoodies that people inexplicably wore a few years ago, Avril Lavigne. Express has a great pair right now for $16.50 as shown in Exhibit A. Idk how I feel about the colored ones yet, but I'm having a fashion love affair with the black.

On your feets, rock some basic pumps (nothing too flashy or with too many other straps). Though you won't get the stirrup effect, you can also wear these with boots to rock the tight pants tucked into boots look - with no risk of bunchage! On top, wear your super awesome modern stirrup pants with a loose shift dress or long sweater. I guess some things are still the same from the 80's after all. Follow these rules and rock the stirrup with pride girlfriend!

"Gossip Girl" death pool = $$$

Bart Bass died last night on "Gossip Girl", which means I win $10 bitches! Yes, my roommates and I had a pool going after we learned about a month ago that a character would be dying on GG. I see no shame in incorporating gambling into every aspect of my life. $5 buy in for the pool, and our predictions laid out as follows:

Me: Bart Bass (Obvi. Bart Bass has no soul, so killing him off isn't at all morally wrong. Plus, no viewers would be sad to see him go, and now Lily can go back to humping Rufus guilt-free)

A.G.: Eric Van Der Woodsen (Sorry A, not every major "Gossip Girl" spoiler can revolve around Lil E)

M.C.: Aaron (And anyone would notice and/or care because...? So not gonna happen)


Too bad gambling on TV shows isn't actually legal. I'd be rich, biotch!

Let him entertain me

Am I really weird for saying that I have crush on The Entertainer, originally of "I Love New York 2" fame? Sure he lives in his parent's basement, but hello it's a finished basement. And he's pretty damn sexy. I'd def hit it.

The Entertainer along with 18 other reality-has-beens/amazing people will be staring in "I Love Money 2", premiering January 26, 2009 on VH1. Though I must admit that so far this season's cast isn't shaping up to be as good as season 1's, I'm still very much looking forward to this hot trainwreck mess.

Effin Pete Wentz

So Pete Wentz decided to take a break from dirty diaper duty last week and actually make an episode of FNMTV. It was a holiday special and his producers really worked hard to book such diverse guests as Miley Cyrus, Trace Cyrus and his band Metro Station, and Fall Out Boy. Not to mention they were actually able to book Pete's BFF, Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes. Way to hit the pavement and really get the hard-hitting interviews, folks!

I'm really so glad Pete Wentz takes the time out of his day to do FNMTV once every two or three months.

Blast From The Past: American Pie

This movie sooo made me smile to start my week when I watched it on Sunday. (And YES I did more with my weekend than watch teen movies...kinda)

American Pie!

I personally believe that "American Pie" is so much more than your perverted typical guy comedy or cheesy teen movie. Sure, they spend a good portion of the movie talking about getting laid, seeing boobs, and the finer points of masturbation, but I've always thought this series of movies has something that most of its kind lack: heart. Underneath the surface, this movie is really about friendship. The four main characters make a pact to get laid by the time they graduate, but what the pact really symbolizes is working together, and helping each other to achieve a common goal. These guys put bromance on the map when Brody Jenner was still in braces. Forget about masturbating with pies and flutes, "American Pie" is actually about true friendship and young love.

Btw, fun game: If you had to bang one of the American Pie guys, who would it be? I'd so be all about Kevin. No, scratch that, I'd want to date Kevin, but he actually looked like he was pretty bad in bed. I'll go with Finch. I bet he gives good Tongue Tornado.

Yes! Another Teen Movie!

Just spent a glorious afternoon hungover on the couch watching "John Tucker Must Die" on basic cable. Observations:

• Some things never change. Just as with Rachel Lee Cook in "She's All That" circa 1997, it's pretty hard as a viewer to pretend that Brittany Snow "isn't hot" before her makeover. Girlfriend still looks pretty damn good. I suppose (slightly) frizzy hair is supposed to distract from perfect skin and sparkling eyes. Damn her.
• Despite Jesse Metcalf's perfect pecs, the real star of this movie is Penn Badgley! Who knew? Penn, now of "Gossip Girl" fame, really stretches his acting ability by playing...Dan Humphrey with long hair.

The teenybopper in me is so glad these kind of movies are still being made.

Loves it!

Britney Spears's leaked music video for her new single Circus.

Leave it to BritBrit to spray herself with her own perfume, Curious, at the beginning of the video (the pretty blue bottle). I suppose if you're going to stoop to product placement, why not do it with your own products? And I must admit, 5 years or so ago I bought Curious and still have the empty bottle sitting around somewhere because I loved it that much.

This is great though y'all, Britney really is making a comeback this time unlike last year's shiteous try. Keep it comin, Brit!

Pretending to be classy for a night

Brandy Library
Tribeca
25 N Moore Street (at Varick Street)
New York, NY 10013
212-226-5545
www.brandylibrary.com

Don your smoking jacket and throw your pinkies in the air, because it's time to hit up the Brandy Library. This posh lounge truly feels like you've stepped into your rich uncle's den filled with rich mahogany, many leather bound books with big words and of course, brandy! Even if you're not a connoisseur of the beverage, the knowledgeable staff of Brandy Library will be glad to walk you through their extensive menu and school you on anything and everything brandy. Be on your best behavior, the same 12-inch-voice rule that kindergarten teachers across America use also seems to be in effect at the BL. Now sit back and relax with one of their seemingly hundreds of specialty cocktails (brandy or otherwise) which are served in the cutest miniature martini glasses ever! (oops, I just squealed above my 12-inch-voice) For such a highfalutin establishment, Brandy Library's prices are extremely reasonable, but I would recommend a reservation...and maybe a fake ID. Allegedly Brandy Library has a 25 and over age policy, that is unless you bat your pretty little eyelashes and flip your perfect blonde mane (not that I would ever do that).
Rating: 3.5 stars


However, I clearly can't stay on good behavior for very long, so next it's across the street to...

Walker's
Tribeca
16 N Moore Street (at Varick Street)
New York, NY 10013
212-941-0142

Walker's is the epitome of your comfortable local (non-dive) bar. A food menu of American classics and a great (and cheap!) selection of beers and wines makes me immediately take a liking to this Tribeca corner bar. The place is full of locals and regulars, but even as a first timer you'll feel right at home thanks to the friendly bartenders and patrons more than willing to give up their bar stool to a purtty little lady. Try the seasonal brew, currently infused with blueberry flavor, to give your liver and your soul that warm fuzzy feeling on a cold winter's night. The kitchen stays open late at Walker's, making this the perfect place to take care of those drunk munchies in style.
Rating: 3.5 stars

Lily Van Der Woodsen is preggers!

Well, by "Lily Van Der Woodsen" I really mean Kelly Rutherford, the actress. But by "preggers" I really do mean preggers!

How are the "Gossip Girl" writers going to handle this one? It would be simply tragic if Lily gets preggers with Bart Bass's baby. For one, that child would just pop out evil and giving someone the "I'm watching you" stink eye. Plus Lily and Bart don't do it. They just don't. Bart Bass is way too busy to make sexy time...unless maybe he hired someone to take care of business for him and keep Lily's needs satisfied. Plus, looks like Bart is about to bite the big one. GG is a family show...kinda. Well it's a family network anyway. And family networks just don't bring babies into this world without father figures.

Or maybe...it's going to be Rufus's baby! Lily has to be sleeping with someone while Bart is always away on business. It's what high society wives do. Yah, I def want it to be Rufus's baby. Rufus really needs to be getting some, and then it will be even more awkward and fun when Dan and Serena inevitably start sleeping together again.

OR MAYBE...Lily has been secretly been sleeping with Chuck! Too gross for the CW? Me thinks not!

Or maybe...the writers are just going to ignore this and we're all expected to pretend like we aren't charting the weekly growth on Kelly Rutherford's baby bump. Yah, this is what will more than likely happen. Damn you, CW.

Worst fortune cookie EVER

A carrot a day, keeps cancer away...

Wtf? Thanks for that sage advice and the optimism, King Wok!

Sexual inuendos abound!

On this particular night, I felt quite a bit smutty after texting a fiend that we were going to "Happy Ending" and "The Box". He, on the other hand, seemed to enjoy my smuttyness ;)


Happy Ending
Chinatown
302 Broome Street (b/w Forsyth and Eldridge Streets)
New York, NY 10002
212-334-9676
www.happyendinglounge.com

And this place gets good reviews because...? There is nothing happy about Happy Ending, except for maybe some unique specialty cocktails. Personally I liked the music, but universally I know that deep cuts from ABBA are not exactly crowd pleasers. The decor is decent but the bar was deserted at midnight on a Thursday, the bathrooms were disgusting, and the few people that were there were mostly older wannabe-hip businessmen and couples canoodling on the velvet couches in the upstairs lounge. And the downstairs "sauna" area...save yourself the wobbly trip down the stairs in heels and just don't. Stinky, literally. Cute idea turning an old massage parlor into a bar and giving it a name with a double entendre, but the happiest part of this bar is ending your time here and leaving.
Rating: 1.5 stars

The Box
SoHo
189 Chrystie Street (b/w Stanton and Rivington Streets)
New York, NY 10002
212-982-9301
www.theboxnyc.com

Simply gorgeous dahlings! If you can get past the velvet ropes at The Box you're in for a treat. The old Vaudeville theatre makes for a fabulous modern bar and performance space. On this particular night the timing of my visit didn't allow me to catch one of The Box's famous shows, but I've been told they're quite the experience. Burlesque meets freak show meets other unmentionables (or so the rumor has it), but especially during showtime be prepared to throw down some serious cash. A basic mixed drink ran a steep $17, and you'll have to spend the better part of two grand for a table, but if you can afford it then don your Sunday best, grab your fur and do it! Even if you just stop by for a few drinks, the ambiance and possibility of a major celeb sighting (not to mention the feeling of success of actually getting in) will definitely make you feel A-List.
Rating: 3.5 stars

Blast From The Past: Tickle Me Elmo

To get you through the work week leading up to Thanksgiving and my fav holiday evs, Black Friday...

Tickle Me Elmo!

Do you remember when this guy was the hottest item ever on Black Friday and all through holiday shopping season? I wanted one soooo bad (fyi, I was like 13...don't judge), but my little cousin got one instead because her mom camped outside Toys R Us for the night and mine didn't. Biotch. But she was just a baby and had no idea how A-List Elmo really was, so I got to play with hers all during Christmas Day while she napped and made poopie diapers. Now that I'm older I realize all kinds of other things that could have been going on with Tickle Me Elmo...dirty dirty things...but it's a kids toy! C'mon people, get yo minds out of the gutter. All I know is that Tickle Me Elmo is the coolest, and he's def my bff.

Those were the days

Since this week MTV ended their 10+ year run of TRL (that's "Total Request Live", mom), took 3 hours to play snippets of 10 videos, and will spend the next few weeks reminding us of how awesome it was, I decided to take a moment to share some of my own reflections.

I remember when TRL was on at NIGHT (not after school? gasp!). The year was 1997. Carson Daly's ego wasn't inflated to the size of Texas. Hanson was still popular. And TRL was some low budget show that MTV seemingly haphazardly threw on the air to see if it would catch on with the tween market...and did it ever.

However, even most die hards do not remember the early days of TRL when there was no studio. There was no set. There was no going to the MTV window to wave at screaming fans in Times Square. There was only Carson Daly alone in a black room announcing a countdown of videos that were actually based on your votes. In those renegade days, there was no fancy website to tally votes. I remember typing out my vote and emailing it the old fashioned way through good ole AOL. I pity the intern who had to sit there tallying those things. With the recent TRL buzz in light of the finale, I've brought up these glory days of programming in conversation with many musically in-the-know friends. No one else seems to remember Carson's black room. Maybe I'm just really die hard...or maybe I was a bad-ass 7th grader simultaneously on the honor roll AND shrooms, and Carson's black room was all in my head.

Another memory I must share is when I actually had the opportunity to be in the live studio audience at TRL (a right of passage for any good teeny-bopper). It was my freshman year of college, and for the first time in my life I was living merely a short train ride away from New York city and the place where celebs gathered, MTV studios. My friend Lauren and I skipped English class (what did I tell you, I'm bad ass) to stand in the cold in hopes of being granted admission to the TRL studios to get a glimpse of one of out favorite stars, Clay Aiken. We came, we saw, we got hugs from the Gayken (eep omg ahhhh!)...and then I grew older and wiser and realized that he was in face, "unavailable".

All of these memories do hold a dear place in my heart so thank you, MTV, for those glory days when you actually played videos and brought joy into a young Claymate's heart. I was truly there for the beginning...and being that I managed to sit through the 3 hour live finale I can now say I was there at the end.

Blast from the Past: Sponge Monkeys

It's the Monday Blast from the Past, because you need something fun to get through your week! Lord knows I do this week...

Today we pay remembrance to:
The Sponge Monkeys!

You may remember the Sponge Monkeys from circa 2003 in one of Quizno's first major add campaigns. As I sat in a Quizno's yesterday enjoying a tasty chicken carbonara sub, I thought about how much character the Sponge Monkeys gave this restaurant establishment, and how America reacted to these delightful little creatures. Many thought they were ugly, disgusting, and annoying, but I feel that they were just misunderstood. When in my freshman year of college I downloaded a Sponge Monkeys screen saver to my dorm room computer that even included sound and singing, my roommate went off the deep end and threatened permanent damage to the computer. But I know she secretly liked the Sponge Monkeys. I mean, who couldn't! I know I want my food being peddled to me by deformed singing rodents that one would swat with a broom or try to poison if found in a kitchen. Don't you?

For more Sponge Monkey goodness, youtube clips of them singing about such topics as toasted subs, coupons and the moon!

Dear "Stallionaires"...

Dear "Stallionaires" (Real and Chance...and their brother who looks like Andre 3000),

I know you think you're very tough. I mean, you have an amazing reality show and all, and you managed to survive being in love with New York. But let's talk about your music, as seen on tonight's episode of "A Real Chance at Love". Last time I checked, if you want to be taken seriously as hip hop artists, you might not want your breakout song to sound like something LFO wrote in 1998, complete with lyrics about girls in the summer.

Just a thought.

That being said, where can I cop that shiiiiiit?

Best,
Megan

It's my party and I'll get drunk if I want to

Forum
East Village
127 4th Avenue (b/w 12th and 13th Streets)
New York, NY 10003
212-505-0301
www.theforumnyc.com

The official locale for my 24th b-day party! Forum combines a sophisticated atmosphere with a young party vibe for a great night out. The crystal walls, Grecian inspired columns and dim lighting make Forum feel quite swanky, even if you are in the East Village. Despite being a mere block from Union Square, Forum seems to thankfully keep out the tourist crowd, but if you are in NY stop by, tell them I sent you, and make sure to try one of their specialty cocktails. The music, even if cliché at times, provided the perfect drunk soundtrack for partying with a large group of friends. I didn’t mind the crowd (that’s why you go out to bars and not have a party with yourself and Arbor Mist on your raggedy couch, right?), but some friends whined and others did have to wait in a line at the door because they were allegedly at “capacity”. But I can’t complain! I spent the night at Forum dancing with friends, sipping champagne, and partying like a rock star without spending a fortune. When in Rome (or NY), go to Forum.
Rating: 4.5 stars


Black & White
East Village
86 East 10th Street (b/w 3rd and 4th Avenues)
New York, NY 10003
212-253-0246

I’ll be honest, by the time I got to Black & White I was how they say “driz-unk”. So I don’t remember the most about my experience about Black & White…but I do remember having a great time! I remember an unpretentious downstairs bar, cute boys, sexy lighting, fun danceable music, there actually being TP and no line at the lil girls’ room, and majorly smooching one of the aforementioned cute boys. There, I said it, go ahead and judge. But in reality, that’s pretty much what you need to have a great time at a bar, so Black & White gets my (hazy) stamp of approval.
Rating: 3.5 stars

Fun times at...K-Mart!

Megan, exhausted, approaches an overly enthusiastic tweener cashier at her local K-Mart (yes, they have those in Manhattan) after a long day of work. She clutches her purchases of TP, Oscar Meyer coldcuts, Country Crock, and glazed Pop'ems...only the essentials in life.

"Oh wow, I didn't even know we sold these!" chirps the young cashier while holding the coldcuts. Her mousy brown hair limply falls around her glasses-clad face. Getting this job at K-Mart was clearly her big break. Megan looks on as her purchases are scanned, enjoying the hint of suburbia.

"Did you check the expiration dates on these?"

"Excuse me?" Megan is now snapped back to reality.

"The expiration dates. I'd always make sure to check. You don't wanna get sick ya know."

Megan laughs uncomfortably, clearly weirded out. "Yah, I guess not."

"No, really, it's important. You never know when one day you're gonna get sick from something. I'm always cautious about these things here. This one time I heard..."

Upon this comment, Megan snatches the Country Crock out of Hannah Montana's hand and frantically looks for the stamped date, and wondering if she'll even find one at all. December 27, 2008. Sigh of relief.

"Thanks, have a nice night!!!"

It's so nice to know that employees have so much confidence in their own store's product. Nothing like a scare of sickness and death to make to make a girl's trip to K-Mart something to remember. Despite the blue light specials and bargain shopping, Megan will now be buying her groceries at Gristedes only.

Forever 21 strikes again!

Since the "Sex and the City" movie came out in May, I have been simply lusting for Carrie's black studded belt which she wears for about a fourth of the movie. The actual belt is from SATC stylist Patricia Field's collection, but I refuse to spend $120 on a belt no matter how fab.

Now, a good studded belt is hard to find, and 99% of the time I would recommend staying clear. You can't just throw on any ole crap that your 15-year-old wannabe emo sister got at Pacific Sunwear and call it fierce.

Since Forever 21 has no shame when it comes to making exact copies of other people's designs, they just came out with this beauty, the Pyramid Stud Waist Belt (retail $9.80). The only difference is that the Forever version has elastic in the back where I believe the Patricia Field version is leather all the way around. Get this while you can, it's so close to Carrie's belt I'll be surprised if it lasts 2 days in the stores (already gonzo on the web). Wear it over a simple dress with a full skirt (H&M has a great deep purple one right now) or a light trench.

Btw Forever 21, I so smell a lawsuit. Luv ya!

Mah b-day...and this little thing they called "the election"

So I’m not gonna lie, I was just a tad pissed that my b-day fell on the same day as one of the biggest elections our country has ever seen. After feeling neglected for most of the day on Tuesday, what’s a girl left to do but suck it up, try to have a good time watching the results, and get driz-unk?

Now, I do my patriotic duty and rock the vote, but I’m not a highly political person. However, I found myself becoming very involved in the excitement. It’s not every day that I get to scream out cab windows, celebrate with total strangers, and actually feel like people in New York City are getting along.

And I kinda loved the fact that on my bday, a friend of mine proposed an election watching party at one of my fav bars:

Fat Black Pussycat
West Village
130 West 3rd Street (b/w 6th Avenue and Macdougal Street)
New York, NY 10012
212-533-4790
www.thefatblackpussycat.com

In quirky West Village style, the Fat Black Pussycat manages to combine the best of every world. One room wood-clad local watering hole, one room sexy Moroccan lounge, and even a dance club downstairs at Village Underground. There’s never a dull moment at the Fat Black Pussycat between the cheeky name, old time photographs and videos, and unisex bathroom downstairs (ow-ow!). You must try one of their 30 delish and destructive specialty martinis at the very cheap price of $9. I recommend the Apple Pie Martini (just make sure the bartender knows you don’t want the run of the mill appletini…much confusion will ensue). If you have a moderately sized group of 15 or so, reserve the loft area in the Moroccan room and you’ll be in for a relaxed sexy time…or just a night where you can feel like a VIP with your friends without dropping a grand on bottle service. Whatever vibe you’re looking for, this place is certainly the cat’s meow.
Rating: 5 stars

Celeb bargain fashion

On Tuesday's episode of the new "90210" series on the CW, rich bitch Naomi would love us to think she's wearing some uber-expensive outfit, as always, to Silver's party. Jig's up, Naomi, it's actually from Forever 21! Naomi's red satin ruffled tank is even one of Forever's "fabulous finds" (translation: even cheaper than normal). It's sold out in solids on the website, but if you're lucky you can still find it in stores for $12.50, though it's been sold out in NYC for weeks. I have this top in solid purple, and it's a great go-to piece with dark skinny jeans and some fierce heels. You can also still find it on forever21.com in some tickity-tack prints.

Love the modern Victorian elegance of the solids. The prints, not so much.

And love that the CW is putting some fashion on their characters that real girls can afford!

My life has gone to the dogs

One of the simple pleasures in life has got to be puppies. So thank you to Michael K at dlisted.com for giving me something new and productive to do at work...

Click for too much cuteness...and stop judging how I spend my time

Bar crawlin

Great times at Halloween pub crawl! Shout to www.halloweennow.com

The Village Pourhouse
East Village
64 3rd Avenue (at 11th Street)
New York, NY 10003
212-979-2337
www.pourhousenyc.com

What can I really say about this place? It’s practically an East Village legend. Lots of beer, lots of college students and those who wish they still were, and lots of mingling are guaranteed at the original Village Pourhouse. You can always find a friend here (or quickly make new ones) and catch the game in one of their multiple rooms with multiple flat screens. If getting drenched in beer every time the Giants make one of those touchdown thingeys really isn’t your scene, relax on a couch in the lounge area in the back which provides a completely different atmosphere for those girls who just aren’t up to pretending to know what’s going on in the game, but still want to partake in the pickup scene. The Pourhouse sets the scene for the type of nights with friends that create lifelong memories…that is if you can remember it the next morning.
Rating: 4 stars


Coyote Ugly
East Village
153 1st Avenue (b/w 9th and 10th Streets)
New York, NY 10003
212-477-4431
www.coyoteuglysaloon.com

Ever since I was a wee girl of 19, it’s been my dream to one day become a coyote at Coyote Ugly. Dancing on the bar, wearing sexy/skanky outfits with cowboy boots, getting inappropriate yet flattering attention from dirty men, and of course all the country music you can handle. Now that I finally convinced a friend to accompany me to my dream bar, I found that only the parts of my fantasy that were true were the country music and the male attention…except it was just downright skeezy and not at all flattering. If you enjoy country music like myself and feel deprived of it in New York City, then come to Coyote, but do not expect much other than these comforting twangy beats. The music gave me that happy feeling and I wanted to shake my honky tonk badonkadonk, but I seemed to be the only one in the bar who felt the need to do so. Bar dancing alone does not equal sexy, but rather makes you the crazy drunk girl who dances on the bar alone and thinks she’s sexy. Even the real coyotes did not once dance on the bar in the hour plus I was there. And it’s not like they were too busy serving drinks, despite its surprisingly small size and busy rep, Coyote Ugly did not house the raucous crowd from the movies. *Sigh*, goodbye sweet daydreams…
Rating: 2 stars


Bar None
East Village
98 3rd Avenue (b/w 12th and 13th Streets)
New York, NY 10003
212-777-6663
www.barnonenyc.com

Another great find in the E-Vill. Bar None is one of those bars you walk past a million times, never go into, but when you finally do it then becomes a good standby in your going out repertoire. (Btw, it’s embarrassing how long it took me to figure out how to spell “repertoire”) Bar None provides a no-frills atmosphere minus the sports bar vibe that plagues many other bars of its kind. Check the website, Bar None also offers some awesome happy hours and other specials. Despite the hearty crowd, we were actually able to get seats at Bar None, which surprisingly didn’t even limit the socializing. Many a new friend was made. The patrons and staff at Bar None are friendly, social, efficient, and just plain looking to have good times.
Rating: 3 stars


TG Whitney’s
Midtown East
244 East 53rd Street (b/w 2nd and 3rd Avenues)
New York, NY 10022
212-888-5772
www.tgwhitneys.com

You’ll find a smattering of everything at TG Whitney’s. Relaxed pub atmosphere, yummy bar foods, good drink specials, but this is more than your typical midtown pub. TG Whitney’s also offers great karaoke Thur/Fri/Sat without the intimidation and pretention of so many official karaoke bars…or the letdown of bars that claim to offer karaoke but simply have a guy in the corner with a microphone. TG Whitney’s never gets uncomfortably crowded, but can border on empty at times. Great staff though, I once planned a birthday gathering here for two friends and the managers and bartenders couldn’t have been more accommodating. And they did many, many shots with us…score!
Rating: 3 stars

Goin a-huntin

Very rarely does another woman's nail color catch my eye to the point of comment, but when I recently met Gretta Monahan of "Tim Gunn's Guide to Style" and general fabulousness, I has to gush and ask her about her amazing silvery/gold/greenish nails. Gretta, always one to help a girl in need, turned me on to the new limited edition Chanel Kaleidoscope. Trust me, no pic can do this color justice because of the amazing, well, "kaleidoscope" effect in various lighting.

I love to always have a signature nail color, and since summer's Essie Shorty Pants (a bright, but not tacky, yellow) is beyond officially out of season, it's time for me to change it up. Kaleidoscope has won me over, but I'm not quite ready to commit considering its $20 price tag and rep as the unicorn of nailcolors these days (hard to find). Time to be a little shopping savvy.

After some research, several alternatives came up, but all seemed too one-dimensional or just straight up cheap to compete with Kaleidoscope. Except for Essie Steel-ing The Scene. From pics and word of mouth, Steel-ing The Scene brings out enough of the gold to hold its own against K, and I am a fan of Essie's variety, so-cute names, and Essie herself (yes, she's a real person...and amazing!). Again, being lazy, I ordered a bottle online which should be arriving in a few days if they know what's good for them, so I'll soon give a progress report...or be heading straight to the Chanel counter with credit card in hand.

She so has my vote

I mean, there's really so many good points that our country needs to start recognizing. If you're going to put lipstick on a pig, just make sure that shiz matches her skin tone. It's really not that difficult.

Credit: www.swaghousemedia.com

Dear "High School Musical 3"...

Dear "High School Musical 3",

Nsync called. They want their music video dance scenes back.

Sincerely,
Megan


.....and just for the record I did "not" fight tears during the graduation scene.

I'm allowed to stare, it's ART!

So when I read that "Spring Awakening" on Broadway is closing in January I knew I had to make a point of seeing it ASAP. I've had the music on the ipod for awhile and it's been on the mental to-list, so with this news and a fellow theatre-loving friend in town for the weekend, I figured that it was about damn time.

As far as Broadway musicals go, "Spring Awakening" held its own. Idk if it really deserved a Best Musical Tony in 2007, but to be honest nothing all that special has come out in years. (Well, except for of course "Legally Blonde: The Musical" and the very credible matching reality tv show). Admittedly, I do now have all the music stuck in my head and am trying desperately not to break into song at work, so "Spring Awakening" did its job.

However, I'm about to loose all theatre street cred when I say that one of the best moments of the show was...Hunter Parrish's butt. I know this musical is "edgy" and "sexually free" and all, and as an audience member I'm supposed to be mature about this. But how am I supposed to keep my mind out of the gutter when you cast the amazingly sexy Hunter Parrish (of "Weeds" fame) in the role of Melchior Gabor, have him pull down his pants showcasing his toned yet juicy ass, and proceed to simulate a sex scene?

Me thinks that maybe due to the nature of the show it is designed to allow horny young women like myself to slip into sexual fantasy? Even in my most mature, art connoisseur mindset, there is no way I could not view this as sexy. Am I allowed to feel this way, producers/directors of "Spring Awakening"? Or do I have to grow the hell up and stop fantasizing about 21 year old boys?

Purposeful choice of the "Spring Awakening" creative team or not: Hunter Parrish...text me?

Please let this happen...

Michael Phelps has been approached to star in a reality show. Geniuses Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher think Phelps is the perfect American icon to appeal to the masses via the small screen, and they are seeking to produce a reality tv program based on the daily life of this Olympic hottie dealing with his sudden rise to fame.

As with any good reality show, I just hope there's shower scenes...

When in Brooklyn...

...do as Dan Humphrey does?

Idk, but on Tuesday I actually decided to take a friend up on a outing across the river to watch a bocce ball game at a bar in the BK. So...sports? Well, I WAS a cheerleader for 8 years, so I can totally pull off clapping for my friends and pretending I know what's going on. By the end of the night I have not only totally rocked the jukebox with what I considered "Brooklyn appropriate" songs (Cake, "Sheep Go to Heaven"? Hells yes!), but I also successfully figured out how this bocce ball thing works! Not bad for a Tuesday night. I was just a lil proud of myself for expanding my horizons in sports as well as actually getting my lazy ass out of Manhattan.


Floyd NY
Brooklyn Heights
131 Atlantic Avenue (b/w Henry and Clinton Streets)
Brooklyn, NY 11201
718-858-5810
www.floydny.com

Not only can you watch friends embarrass themselves at bocce ball (Floyd actually runs a league...fun times!), but you can get drunk on a budget while doing it at Floyd NY. I found myself enjoying many, many $2 cans of Schlitz beer and playing a real working jukebox, two things that do not oft happen in Manhattan. This quaint bar offers just the right amount of dive-ness while still providing a homey atmosphere for those of us who didn't pledge Kappa Kappa Sigma. Relax on the comfy couches perfectly arranged for small group conversations, or cheer raucously for friends playing bocce or building beer-myds. It seems that anything goes at Floyd.
Rating: 4 stars

Worst TV show title EVER

Soooo...since when do we call New York City "The City"?

Whitney Port from "The Hills" is getting her own reality show about moving across the country, working for DVF, and being single in Manhattan. Dammit where's my reality show about being single in Manhattan? Oh wait, no one wants to watch me sit on my couch in pj pants with a bottle of my good friend Andre...whining about how I can't get a date...while watching crappy shows like "The Hills".

However, I will probably be watching "The City" when it premieres. It's gonna be boring and staged, but it least it'll be something boring and staged that I can (somewhat) relate to.

Bounce Deuce
East Village
102 2nd Avenue (at 6th Street)
New York, NY 10003
212-533-6700
www.bounceny.com

This sister bar to the original Upper East Side sports bar is actually…quite fun! For dudes, the waitresses are bleach blonde and scantily clad and the big game(s) of the moment are projected on a bajillion flat screens. For us gals, the men are plentiful, hot, and I must admit I had so much hitting the button and pouring my own beer from tableside beer bongs. Yes, I’m easily amused. For a sports bar, this place actually played decent music and kept it classy enough for a girlie broad like myself. And did I mention that Bounce Deuce is crawling with hot men?
Rating: 3.5 stars


The Sunburnt Cow
East Village
137 Avenue C (b/w 8th and 9th Streets)
New York, NY 10009
212-529-0005
www.thesunburntcow.com

So this place is Australian themed as they will (not so) subtly remind you 100 times throughout the night. Cute outback porch and stone atmosphere, but uncomfortably crowded. The bartenders are Aussie (surprise!) and would have been super sexy...if they weren’t complete douche bags. Allegedly they have a great brunch. Nightlife, not so much.
Rating: 2 stars


The Plumm
Meatpacking District
246 West 14th Street (b/w 7th and 8th Avenues)
New York, NY 10011
212-675-1567
www.theplumm.com

This place is owned by a bunch of celebs so it must be really fun and trendy, right? So wrong. Maybe Plumm was a BD (big deal) once upon a time 2 years ago, but it has since clearly gone downhill. If you have a “key” to this semi-private club you’ll get right in (though I saw one “member” still given hassle), but if not be prepared to wait…and then probably still pay cover. The “A-List” patrons at Plumm are quite skanky and actually…well…*whisper* B&T. And you’d think a place as uppity as Plumm would at least have a clean spot for a girl to make #1. Not so much. I’ve been to many a Pennsylvania county fair, yet never have I seen a bathroom so disgusting. Apparently $20 cover in New York no longer even gets you toilets with seats, or good music, or fun, or…anything for that matter. Damn, times are tough.
Rating: 1 star...barely

Bella's? Southside? wtf?!, idk...

Bella's and/or Southside
SoHo
1 Cleveland Place/406 Broome Street
New York, NY 10012
212-680-5601
www.barmartignetti.com

A friend brought me to this Martignetti Brother owned lounge on Saturday night and I have since been fraught with confusion. Located beneath SoHo restaurant Bar Martignetti, this downstairs bar has a separate entrance on Cleveland Place, no visible sign, and only a vague murmuring from the crowd that it was called Bella's. Some googling later, I'm still left confused as numerous reviews have noted that Bella's is closed and may or may not have re-opened as Southside, but the official website still says Bella's. Whatever the name, I was pleased with this bar, but only after several drinks. Not an easy time getting in if you don't have a connection (which my friend luckily did), and the bar patrons were straight off daddy's yacht in Connecticut and not very apt to socializing. However, last-night-the-DJ-saved-my-life by playing everything from your typical fav Britney Spears dance tune y'all to some great 50's/60's sock-hop music to which my parents probably danced drunkenly in their glory days. Who knew "The Twist" and "Run Around Sue" were actually fun in 2008? If Bella-side can loose the attitude and figure out its name, it'll be good times.
Rating: 2.5 stars

Nooooooooooo

So like any other typical, fame-seeking, American girl, it's been my dream since the wee age of 12 to be on a reality TV show, specifically "The Real World". (Statistically it's harder to be cast on the show than to be admitted into Harvard...America...) Well friends, I'm getting old and am about to enter my last year of eligibility age-wise to become a reality whore on "The Real World". Sensing this and wanting to destroy my destiny, Bunim Murray Productions has scheduled the yearly New York City open casting call for the one weekend when I will be making a trip home to the great city of Pittsburgh. Erego not being in NYC on the date of the casting, erego not being able to be on the show, erego ruining my life! It's not fair! *stomps foot, throws tantrum* I've already auditioned twice and been rejected twice, third time's the charm, yes? No. Third time is mercilessly ripped away from me.

And I will not be one of those whores who puts their video on the internets for the public to vote...I'm looking at you, Greg from RW Hollywood...

Popping my fashion week cherry...

…and it was everything I’d always hoped it would be ;)

Last week was Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in NYC, and for those who have never experienced it, it’s everything you’d expect…and nothing you’d expect at the same time. The famed tents in Bryant Park are pretty amazing, not gonna lie. You’d never even realize you were technically in the great outdoors. The shows themselves are also every bit as glam as they look, and the models are every bit as skinny as they look. It made crave a Baconator.

What I was not prepared for was the process of fashion week. You arrive at the show, stand around for at least 15 minutes before they even let you in, and then even once you get in you may or may not actually have a seat. It all depends on how important you are…which I’m not. And thus I slump to the standing room in the back. Then the show never starts on time. Never. So all in all you’re standing around (in 5 inch heels…obvi) waiting for at least 30 minutes before the show even starts. The actual show is no more than 15 minutes long. At best. Allllll that waiting around inflicting pain unto the balls of your poor little tootsies for 15 minutes of couture that may or may not actually even be worth seeing. The process is exhausting. I was drained by the end of the week.

I know, I know, my life sounds sooooo terrible and difficult last week standing around watching 17-year-old anno models walk around in designer clothes. Well it’s harder than it looks dammit!

But I assure you that I’m not taking this for granted, I know it seems very glam and fun, and it is. Let me remind you, going into this season I was a fashion week virgin. And even at the beginning of the week I had ZERO invites, and then ended up at 4 shows. Thus is the magic and subterfuge of fashion week.

A co-worker gave me 2 “non-transferable” invites she wasn’t using (Charlotte Ronson and Benjamin Cho). So I went to these shows pretending to be her. Thank goodness no one at fashion week cards. Except for business card-ing…oops! “I’m so sorry, I don’t have any cards under my name…I’m actually just representing VK…I’m her co-worker/assistant/beneficiary…My name’s actually…” Somehow I still got in. I’ve come to realize they must get tons of these scenarios. No harm, no foul. And this actually got me a 3rd row seat at Benjamin Cho, right across from Mary Kate Olsen! Alas, at Char-Ro I was stuffed way too far back into standing room to get a glimpse of Li-Lo and Sam-Ro. Sigh…

Then I was sent through my job to the Malan Breton (former “Project Runway” contestant) show to interview him, getting to use my very own name! I guess I’m moving up in the world. Sat 2nd row and the show was amazing, beautiful evening gowns and elegantly flirty casual wear. Loves it! Alex and Simon van Kempen of “The Real Housewives of NYC” were in attendance…and will obviously do anything for a photo-op and a hot sec of attention. After the show, I was escorted to the super-private Mercedes Benz VIP lounge for the interview. All of a sudden I went from getting into shows under someone else’s name to totally ballin out on my own accord. Too bad it was 10:30am and I was working…that champagne looked pretty damn tempting. Malan was such a sweetheart and it was a pleasure to interview him…VIP room or no VIP room.

I still have no idea how I pulled it off, but through some sweet talking and identity stealing I somehow got into the hot-ticket Project Runway finale fashion show. Don’t ask don’t tell. Had to stand in my Michael Kors stilettos (just in case he saw) on the press riser for like an hour and a half, but it was worth it. Pro-Ro actually lasts about 45 minutes since 6 designers show collections…they try desperately to keep the identity of the 3 finalists secret. I’m sure there are tons of other reviews and spoilers out there so I won’t bore you to death with my humble opinions, dear reader, but let’s just say Jerrell or Leanne better win this shit.

And that, loves, is fashion week. And I’m still soaking my feet from shoe abuse.

So I must give a belated mention for my fab friend Andrea Lavinthal and her co-author Jessica Rozler for the release of their new book "Friend or Frenemy?". It was released Aug 5 and you all simply must go get it. I attended the book party last week and it was a great night. Notably in attendance was Whitney Thompson, winner of America's Next Top Model cycle 10, and overall a very gorg crowd at a very gorg party. Congrats girls!

PS - Though it may not seem that way based on this blog, I do more with my life than stalk Top Model winners...really...

Celeb sighting

Spotted: Danielle Evans, winner of America's Next Top Model cycle 6, on the 1 train this afternoon. So gorg in person! Wearing a flowy tank top, leggings, and gladiator sandals. She was with who appeared to be her parents for a day on the town. They were all upbeat and seemed to be having a great time (she still has the trademark southern accent). She even rested her head on her dad's shoulder...adorable.

This past weekend brought me to the East Village/Lower East Side for a string of birthday celebrations. (Isn’t it just wonderful to have a fall birthday and spend your summers bouncing from party to party where the birthday girl gets to look hot in her skimpy little birthday dress, while you practically have to wear a snowsuit when your own finally rolls around? Yah, I thought you felt my pain and jealousy…)

First stop:

Lunasa
East Village
126 First Avenue (b/w 7th Street and St Marks Place)
New York, NY 10009
212-228-8580
www.lunasabar.com

On my way to meet up with a friend at Lunasa, I’m already getting a text saying that prospects are low and we may switch locales soon. Translation: no cute guys. Surprising, considering I had heard Lunasa had quite the beer selection. This proves to be true…along with the fact that despite the no-frills atmosphere, there were indeed very few men worth pursuing. I’m lonely, single and on the prowl tonight, so this is not what I wanted to find. However, despite the lack of eligible gentlemen at Lunasa, I was able to enjoy myself while there. The music was good but not overpowering, allowing socialization with the group I was meeting up with at Lunasa (obvi not making any new, um, “friends”). They have an outdoor patio in the back which can be reserved for private events, and despite considering themselves an “Irish Pub”, the crowd is young and there’s no signs of spillage or bodily fluids on the floor…bonus! Anywhere in Manhattan that has a $7 glass of house champagne listed in chalk writing next to an extensive beer list is worthy of my seal of approval.
Rating: 3 stars


After making a long and unnecessary trek alllll the way to the LES (don’t mock me, I’m in heels) to another birthday party only to discover the line is long and unworthy of our time and energy, we stop for a hot second each at:

Libation
Lower East Side
137 Ludlow Street (b/w Stanton and Rivington Streets)
New York, NY 10002
212-529-2153
www.libationnyc.com

Tonight the line at Libation was long and we couldn’t bat our eyelashes to get out of the $10 covercharge ($20 for guys). Were we going in? Hells to the no! It’s my personal belief that nowhere in the LES should charge cover, but I digress. However, I have been to Libation in the past, so I shall report. Once you get in and navigate your way through the confusing labyrinth of hallways and staircases housing the coatcheck and bathroom, you’ll be faced with something totally new and different for the Lower East Side…a club *gasp*. I hate to admit it because this place takes itself way too seriously and is going to eat up any compliment I give them, but I actually had a great time! The DJ was playing a great mix of old and new danceable songs, accompanied by a live drummer adding his spin and giving the pop hits an interesting and unique intensity. We danced all night, stopping only to let potential suitors buy drinks (and there were a plenty…just not any worth talking to for more than the obligatory 5 minutes). Despite the B&T girls dancing on the couches and showcasing dance moves that only 10 cranberry vodkas can induce, Libation is a good time…if only it can get over itself.
Rating: 4 stars


Local 138
Lower East Side
138 Ludlow Street (b/w Stanton and Rivington Streets)
New York, NY 10002
212-477-0280

When I say we were in Local 138 for a “hot sec”, I’m not exaggerating. First impression: loud and lots of wood…and not in a good way. I personally am willing to stay for a beer, but my friends were so not feelin it. Despite the “manly” décor and pub atmosphere, the clientele seemed to be mostly sorority girls in too much eyeliner and too little dresses. Admittedly I was in Local 138 for no longer than 3 minutes, so I’m willing to be open minded and not completely write it off. But…I’m not exactly going to make a special trip to give it a second chance.
Rating: 2 stars


Pianos
Lower East Side
158 Ludlow Street (b/w Stanton and Rivington Streets)
New York, NY 10002
212-505-3733
www.pianosnyc.com

I’ve read many other reviews which have described Pianos as “trendy”, “spacious” and my personal favorite “a live music club that makes fashionistas feel at home.” Don’t believe these. This place is one step above a total mob scene. They feature live bands which thank goodness were between sets when we made our appearance. None the less, the music was way too loud to even have your drink order heard clearly. Most of the clientele were in need of a good shower…gross. When I saw one patron spit on the floor (and it was a nice juicy one too), I knew it was time to leave. But if hanging out with dirty, spitting, degenerates is your thing, then by all means…
Rating: 1 star


The Sixth Ward
Lower East Side
191 Orchard Street (b/w Houston and Stanton Streets)
New York, NY 10002
212-228-9888
www.sixthwardnyc.com

The Sixth Ward is a great standby for when all other bars in this highly dense area fail to please. Though admittedly there’s nothing standout about this place, it has a lot working in its favor: good beer selection, good music, a cute little outdoor patio in the back, pool table, dirty-sexy bartenders, and most importantly: an overwhelming guy to girl ratio. Score! You will never want for male attention at The Sixth Ward. You may have to fight off a few skeezers, but I’ve never walked out of this bar with less than 7 new digits in my phone from an eligible prospect. The crowd can be hit or miss, ranging from “OMG I can’t move or breathe or make it to the bar/bathroom” to “Where did all the hotties go?”, but none the less, The Sixth Ward has never disappointed.
Rating: 3.5 stars