Not the red leather pants again...

Joining the race for the Best Song by a Reality Star Grammy Award (no, there isn't actually such a thing...settle down, Kathy Griffin) is Simon Van Kempen from The Real Housewives of New York. All songs by reality stars are pretty special, but there are several things that make Simon's "I Am Real" particularly amazing:

The use of great vocab words like "duality" and "preen".

Mentioning "Twitter" in songs always equals musical credibility...

..as does stealing your wife's bad catch phrases ("thug in a cocktail dress").

Simon looks like a scary German WWE wrestler in the picture.

The lyrics flash on the screen during the video! Just like Sesame Street! Actually, we really do need the written lyrics to decipher the combination of Simon's bad singing and annoyingly pretentious accent.

Lastly, "I Am Real" has one of the most poignant concepts for a celebrity - especially a reality star - to sing about: self-importance! Loves it!

Wrong?

I'm pretty sure this goes against all laws of nature, but since all dogs are boys and all cats are girls I suppose it works on some level. On New Year's Eve, Giggy and Grandma Wrinkles got married. This video should be really cute but is actually pretty disturbing.

Gig, really?!? You can do so much better. Grandma Wrinkles is like the cat equivalent of Ma on Ma's Roadhouse, and Giggy is one hot piece and a certified "sex monster". Don't date down.


If you don't know who Giggy and Grandma Wrinkles are (and if not, seriously, why are you reading this blog?), Giggy is Lisa's balding-but-cute dog from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Grandma is Dina's ugly hairless cat from The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Giggy was also the winner of Best Reality Pet at Cosmo Radio's 2010 Reality Re-Cap Awards because uh HELLOOOO he's amazing.

This is my friend!

Diddy has been known to do some over-the-top stunts and great viral videos. I've always felt a kindred spirit with Diddy, we have the same birthday and I got to interview him once. Which of course makes us besties. Well now one of my real life good friends has randomly made his way into Diddy's viral hall of fame by literally being in the right place at the right time. Check out my friend Chris being accosted by Diddy around the 2 minute mark.



And buy Last Train To Paris by Diddy Dirty Money in stores December 14. (You're welcome for the free promotion)

The kids are back

Oh no...

Those were my exact words when I found out that the Babelgum kids (famous for their Jersey Shore re-make among others) had re-made The Real Housweives of New Jersey. Nothing good can come of this...except for everything good. Like is that seriously a boy playing Caroline? Good casting?



http://wwwbabelgum.com/5007094/kids-reenact-real-housewives-nj.html

When two great things combine

This is TMTH. Hanson, quite possibly my overall all-time favorite band, did a cover of Russel Brand/Aldous Snow's song "Furry Walls". This song and concept is significant as one of the only funny parts of the movie Get Him To The Greek. The furry wall from the movie kinda made my life, and stroking it actually did look really comforting. So when the world hands you a Jeffrey, go ahead, listen to this and stroke the furry wall.

The Ham Game: brought to you by the Manzos

The new season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey has been pretty blah thus far, but one moment from this week's episode made me laugh so uncontrollably that it hurt as I watched this clip over and over. It felt good.


I'm not quite sure what the objective of The Ham Game is, but it seems like you just throw ham at each other and try to do it when the other person doesn't expect it. The game itself made me lol a lot, but Caroline's reaction was even better. She gets scarily fired up and says things that make no sense such as "There's nothing RESPONSIBLE about The Ham Game." There's nothing responsible about most games, but isn't that why we play them?

I'm seriously worried that if I play The Ham Game around Caroline that she'll hire someone to tie me up and throw me in the Hudson.

So not as funny as the "Jersey Shore" one

Kids act out "The Hills". Not funny because nothing highly inapropriate is being said.



But kinda priceless that Audrina keeps looking at the ceiling...

A poorly acted Situation

Jersey Shore behind the scenes "rehearsal" footage.
(the video player isn't loving me today but click the link, I promise lols)

I don't think I've seen acting this bad since...well ever. Pretty damn funny though. And who knew Pauly D was pulling a Chuck Bass and covering his real British accent?

Silly nillys, we know you're actually just as toolish as you are on TV!

Totes inapprops

Prosti-tots at their finest. Thanks to Matty for posting this and thus making my night...and probs my life!

http://www.babelgum.com/4022027/kids-reenact-mtvs-hit-series-jersey-shore.html

Biblioteca discoteca

Awesomeness from the new (hit?) Joel McHale show Community. They had to write a conversation en Español using 5 key phrases. This is what happened...



http://www.hulu.com/watch/97892/community-la-biblioteca#s-p5-sr-i1

White trash hotness...I feel so at home

Who knew the Zefron had a sense of humor or so many d-list celeb friends?

Zac Efron's Pool Party from Zac Efron