This is a NEW show?

Downtown Girls - MTV Shows

On June 1st MTV will premiere its latest reality show, Downtown Girls. From the concept to the voiceover to the cinematography I'm really struggling to see that this is a different show than The Hills and especially The City. It's all so traditional-schmiditional-medicinal. I seriously got confused and thought Shallon (real name) was LC in the frozen screenshot...and then "Bachelor" Vienna in her lameass video blog.

None the less, I'm still pretty convinced that I'm doing something wrong with life not being a cast member on The DownHillsCity Girls. I think I need to get a posher name. Mallon is sounding pretty good right about now.

http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/509345/downtown-girls-trailer.jhtml#id=1637774

So not as funny as the "Jersey Shore" one

Kids act out "The Hills". Not funny because nothing highly inapropriate is being said.



But kinda priceless that Audrina keeps looking at the ceiling...

Tears...and sly coincidences

Sad news y'all. The Hills has been cancelled. The sixth season which premieres on April 27th will be the last, which means we only have about 3 more months to get our fill of the real lives of Speidi, Justin Bobby, and my personal favorite Frankie Delgado. Well that's not completely true because we still have Us magazine, but it's so much more fun to sit around on Monday nights and giggle with girlfriends while watching so much drama unfold.

All facetiousness aside, I almost cried when I heard this news.

Hours before The Hills news broke, it was announced that Doug Reinhardt will be developing a new reality show for the E! network. Doug is best known for famewhoring by dating talent-less starlets like Paris Hilton (no disrespect intended, much love), which all started with Lauren Conrad of...The Hills. Even after their breakup and LC's departure from reality tv, Doug continued to appear on the show as a member of Brody Jenner's bro-posse. The new reality show won't center around Doug or Paris (though they will make appearances), it will be about Doug's little sister Casey and her fab friends. This may sound completely rando and boring, but Casey is a reality TV blast from the past herself, having appeared extensively on season 2 of Laguna Beach. And it all comes full circle. For those who don't remember Casey (I do, obvi), she can best be summed up in a memorable quote from Kristin Cavallari: "everything from her hair to her personality is fake". I don't see what's so bad about that though, it's what makes a good reality star! And K-Cav, your show just got cancelled...

In case you were wondering, Doug Reinhardt's television producing credentials also include playing minor league baseball and being the heir to a frozen burrito fortune. Seems like a smart kid though. Considering this chain of recent television happenings, well played brotha!

I seeeeee you...

The Hills - MTV Shows

The new season of The Hills: Heidi and Spencer + Kristin - LC has been underway for about a month with predictably not much real dramz to report. So thankfully we had a reality tv crasher in last night's episode! Go to about the 6:50 mark in the video above to the moment where we get a lovely shot and title caption of Brent Bolthouse and his nose (they forgot to give his nose its own caption). Stealing the thunder in the left of Bolthouse's moment is none other than TOM GREEN! Who let him in? Didn't they get the memo that he's so dunzo? I kid, I actually adore Tom Green, and let it be known that he was robbed on The Celebrity Apprentice. Robbed I tell you!

Almost outshining Tom Green in this episode was Holly Montag and her "alcohol problem". Looks to me like homegirl was just having a good time woooo! It must suck to get a supporting role in a scripted reality show, and then be scripted as the token alcoholic. And then get called out on it by Stephanie "DUI" Pratt. Pot meet kettle. At least this may open an opportunity for Holly to do Celebrity Rehab and add a third reality show to her resume, which would make her a hell of a lot more accomplished than these other biotches.

Sad news

Audrina Patridge of The Hills is said to be dating none other than uber-hottie and man of the hour, Chris Pine. They've been canoodling at bars in LA and Las Vegas, and she's even been seen leaving his apartment in the wee hours of the morning. This is sad not only because the star of one of the biggest movie re-makes of all time is dating a reality tv wannabe starlet, but it also crushes my own romantic fantasies and image of him having a good on his shoulders. You know what Patti Stanger says, men think with their pecker.

I'm also very frustrated by the fact that Chris Pine is being dubbed an "overnight success" and all of a sudden every woman and gay man in America are swooning. I've been on the Pine train since 2004 so back off bitches, I discovered him first! He's getting all this recognition for Star Trek, but we're forgetting about two other major movies he's made in the past, Just My Luck (with Lindsay Lohan) and The Princess Diaries 2: A Royal Engagement. Those were some great films! I've been melting over The Princess Diaries for five years now and love seeing Chris in this sexy, seductive, ro-co leading man role. I watched my DVD of the film again for the billionth time this weekend and was lost in his magic all over again, he's a prince for gosh sake! People that are just taking note of his hotness now (like Miss Patridge) clearly just don't deserve him as much as I do. I have longevity on my side...as I like to imagine he does too. Ow ow!

My 15 minutes

Guess who guest-blogged about The Hills for Gawker?

Who the eff are these Photoshopped peoples?

Typically I think it's really lame when blogs make fun of how photoshopped celebs are in pictures, but seriously who are these people? "Entertainment Weekly" tells us this is the season 5 cast of The Hills, but when the most real-looking person in the group is Heidi Montag I find that hard to believe. I had to enlarge this pic just to see who the two blondes on the right were (Lo Bosworth and Stephanie Pratt b-t-dubs), and I'm still not convinced that the brunette is actually Audrina. The girl in the front is Lauren...obvi since she's the "star" and thus gets to be in the front. But if you're trying to tell me that the "gentleman" on the right is actually Justin Bobby then you're paying for my next eye exam on these 20/20 baby blues...and you should get your own eyes checked while you're at it. There is no EFFING way! I guess this confirms Whitney's not coming back for this season. Even though The City was one of the most boring shows on television, even she knows she can do better than this half-assed crap.

Worst TV show title EVER

Soooo...since when do we call New York City "The City"?

Whitney Port from "The Hills" is getting her own reality show about moving across the country, working for DVF, and being single in Manhattan. Dammit where's my reality show about being single in Manhattan? Oh wait, no one wants to watch me sit on my couch in pj pants with a bottle of my good friend Andre...whining about how I can't get a date...while watching crappy shows like "The Hills".

However, I will probably be watching "The City" when it premieres. It's gonna be boring and staged, but it least it'll be something boring and staged that I can (somewhat) relate to.