Why do people keep stealing my dream jobs?

Wannabe DeAnna Pappas Melissa Rycroft is slated to be the co-host of a new reality spin-off Bachelor Pad along with Chris Harrison. The show will feature standout former contestants from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette living together in a mansion, competing in challenges and essentially having group orgies in the hot tub. Hosting this show would make me almost as happy as being on the show itself, so damn youuuu Melissa! Jealousy...

I've been hearing murmurs of this spin-off show for awhile and am glad it came to fruition. My perfect casting choices would include:

Wes, Jillian's season - "Everybody's gonna know his nameeeeeee." Total douche bag but he will do anything for fame so will probably see him here.

Michelle, Jake's season - Total crazypants cryer. Needs love and therapy badly.

Greg, DeAnna's season - Homeboy literally ripped off his shirt and howled at the moon after being eliminated in the first episode.

Kiptyn, Jillian's season - Just for some eye candy.

Shayne Lamas, Matt's season - Reality whore.

Roslyn, Jake's season - Even sluttier reality whore.

Bob Guiney, Trista's season and former Bachelor - Divorced and ready to mingle!

Channy, Jake's season - Asian chick who told Jake he could land his plane on his landing strip anytime. Eliminated in the first episode, obvi.

Jesse, DeAnna's season winner - Knows he's lucky to have any chance at talking to hot chicks. And always ready to party!