8:02pm - So we're with Ali and the boys in Turkey this week, which is actually pretty cool.
8:03pm - Ali says she's so happy and "nothing can go wrong"...and then Chris Harrison knocks on her hotel door. Which is never a good thing.
8:09pm - That was intense. The producers got a call from former Bachelor contestant Jessie, who was friends with Ali and now apparently wants to get herself remembered before going on Bachelor Pad. (She was the Chris N of Jake's season.) Ali calls Jessie, and Jessie drops the bomb that Justin has a girlfriend and that she's sitting with her right now. Double bomb. Conveniently cameras were there to tape Jessie's side of the call. Cue girlfriend-Jessica sobbing into the phone that Justin told her he was going on the show to further his wrestling career, he would get to the top 3, get famous, make $, and come back and marry her. But Jessica just found out that Justin has ANOTHER secret girlfriend. Triple bomb! So Justin was cheating on Ali with Jessica, and cheating on Jessica with another hoe. Needless to say, Justin and Rated R now both need plane tickets back to Canada.
8:17pm - Ali and Chris H go to the guys suite where Ali makes a speech and just starts slamming Justin. She actually gets pretty snarky, I like it. Justin denies that he has a girlfriend and walks out of the hotel. Ali and the cameras are chasing him. Homeboy won't talk. It's a good thing Rated R got his cast off because it looks like he's about to walk all the way back to Canada. Ali just keeps shouting "You're gonna regret this."
8:22pm - Now Justin is now coming back to talk. He's finally admitting he's not into Ali, but denying any scheming.
8:24pm - Ali is Team Pissed and pulling the "I gave up everything for love and you did THIS" card. It's the most real I've seen her act all season.
8:26pm - As Justin literally walks out of the show for good, they're playing lovey voicemails that Justin has left for Jessica while being away. It's actually a really poetic moment of showcasing the two personas that Justin and Rated R showed the world. Cudos, editors.
8:31pm - Poor Craig R. He has a terrible namesake, he's easily the least good looking guy left, and he still didn't get his much desired (and needed) one on one date. Ty got it instead, but he also hasn't has a one on one so I can't call injustice.
8:34pm - They're at some kind of Turkish spa........no, bathhouse! Ow ow! Ali is wearing a spa outfit made out of a table cloth, and they're both wearing really weird sandals. Not sexy.
8:37pm - The group date card comes and Craig R's name is on it, which means that Frank is getting a second one on one. So NOW I am calling injustice. Meanwhile Ali and Ty are rubbing each other down and basically having sex in the bathhouse, which is okay because I think that's what bathhouses are historically for.
8:45pm - Ty's foot is so in his mouth. Part of the downfall of his previous marriage was not being able to accept that his wife worked full time. He's saying this to Ali of all people (we all know his history), but then seams to have an "oh shit" moment and totally backtracks by saying he learned and from it and has changed. So awkward...
8:49pm - ...but he gets the rose and they're dancing in the streets of Istanbul. Though Ali still has "concerns".
8:59pm - The group date involves "olive oil wrestling" vs professionals to compete for alone time. Ironic considering "The Wrestler" just got ousted. Watching this is just plain uncomfortable.
9:01pm - So the guys compete against each other and somehow Craig R wins and will get alone time with Ali. Good for him, all is now fair in love and olive oil wrestling.
9:11pm - During Craig R's one on one time there are literally fireworks...in the city of Istanbul. Watching Craig and Ali though is pretty boring, but so is this episode since GirlfriendGate 2010 ended.
9:21pm - Frank and Ali are at a market. Frank is making me lol a lot about pistachios and silly hats. Loves him.
9:23pm - They just bought a fucking carpet. They are officially an old married couple. This episode just got a whole lot funnier in the last five minutes.
9:29pm - THERE WAS JUST A COMMERCIAL FOR BACHELOR PAD!! Excited.
9:30pm - The carpet is now officially the third wheel on this date. I feel for ya, carpet.
9:34pm - They get all deep in conversation while dining in the middle of this pool or something like that. I have no idea what's going on, but Frank and the carpet get a rose.
9:45pm - Ali already knows who she wants to eliminate and there will be no cocktail party. Nunca. Right to the rose ceremony.
9:47pm - So this means Craig R is totes gone, right? Most of Ali's decisions have had a direct correlation to looks. (except for the unceremonious elimination of Jesse, sigh...)
9:53pm - Rose ceremony time. Annnnnd we have Roberto, Chris L, and...
9:54pm - Kirk. So Craig R is going home. The eliminations this season have been too damn predictable to keep the show interesting.
10:00pm - Coming up on The Bachelorette: major dramz. And then during the credits they show a blooper clip of Ty doing the "Risky Business" slide in costume while playing guitar and singing what seems to be "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". The unlimited supply of alcohol is getting to these guys, they now think they're on Rock of Love Bus.
No comments:
Post a Comment