How to succeed? Show the peen!

Apparently the way to score lead roles in Broadway musicals for which you are probably too young and when you have no demonstrated singing ability...is to have flashed your junk. Daniel Radcliffe is slated to star in the spring 2011 Broadway revival of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying as J. Pierrepont Finch, a character who is roughly in his mid or late twenties. Matthew Broderick was 33 when he played this role in the 1995 revival, Radcliffe will only by 21. Radcliffe is obvi known as Harry Potter in the 6 and counting movies of that franchise, but his only Broadway credit came in 2008/2009 when he dropped trou in Equus (which I of course thoroughly enjoyed).

Without this previous notoriety on Broadway, I would find it very surprising that Radcliffe was cast as Finch. I love How to Succeed and will absolutely make a point of seeing the new production, but I don't know how high my expectations are. Radcliffe is a great dramatic actor, but can he be funny and more importantly can he sing? Finch is a legitimate role, demanding vocally and physically, and I can't help but question whether young Radcliffe is ready.

"Memphis" absolutely lives in me

I hate to drop the phrase "Tony prediction" because my track record isn't great (I think I was one of one person who truly believed in Brooklyn: The Musical circa 2004), but I need to when it comes to Broadway's newest hit Memphis. Having officially opened only a month and a half ago, this rock and roll musical is already developing a strong following despite less than stellar ticket sales.

Two things convinced me that I absolutely needed to see Memphis: 1) Chad Kimball's spectacular raw performance at this year's Broadway on Broadway, and 2) The overwhelmingly powerful and passionate bursts of music that could be heard through the wall that Memphis shares with Hamlet's theatre while I viewed that performance in the back of the theatre in standing room (btw, just don't).

Memphis takes place in Charleston (kidding) and tells the semi-true story of a white DJ who is among the first in the nation to broadcast "race music" on a popular radio station. He becomes immersed in the culture and stirs much controversy, especially after he (shocker) falls in love with a young talented black singer. There are obvious similarities to former Broadway hit Hairspray in plot and certain musical selections, but don't expect bubblegum and swooning teenage girls (though there is something irresistible and untraditionally sexy about Kimball). Memphis has a definite dark side which saves it from slipping into obscurity as just another 50's/60's musical. The score is both danceable and soulful, and the music strikes the right balance between cheesy Broadway predictability and elitist inaccessibility.

Memphis is a feel-good musical that still creates an emotional connection and will tug on your heartstrings, unlike some of the crap that's unfortunately currently running on the Great White Way. I'm talking to you, Shrek.

To think I call myself a Theatre Person...

...when amidst the excitement of Fashion Week I almost forgot that tomorrow is Broadway on Broadway! Oh the shame, oh the horror! Broadway on Broadway is an annual concert in Times Square showcasing songs from Broadway's current hits and previews of the upcoming season's openings. This year's Broadway on Broadway takes place Sunday, September 13 at 11:30am, and the city shuts down the TSQ streets as over 50,000 theatre lovers gather to celebrate Broadway during this FREE event.

If you want to get close to the stage (located at Broadway and 43rd) you have to arrive at the ass-crack of dawn, but the performances are also projected on the jumbo screens all over Times Square so the action is impossible to miss even if you are secluded to the rear part of the audience. I believe the event is even televised later in the day, but if you are a true Theatre Person you will be there in person rain or shine (and luckily we're scheduled to have shine!). If you've never been, I highly recommend going to B-Way on B-Way at least once in your life as a New Yorker, even if you're not so much into the theatre. Broadway on Broadway is simply an amazing event that is sure to put a smile on your face, and one of the things that can lift even the most cynical New Yorker out of the dumps and make you truly feel lucky to live here and be able to experience such unique opportunities.

The internet is for...blogging about Avenue Q

On the night of the first and only time I saw Avenue Q, over three years ago in the summer of 2006, I looked down at the floor during my train ride home to Jersey and found a penny from the year I was born. I thought it was a sign that I was going to find my purpose, so naturally I burst into song because everything was of course going to be okay.

Well, it wasn't. But that's not to discredit the sheer awesomeness of Avenue Q. This musical will sadly be closing this Sunday, September 13, after running for over six years. Though unconventional in its staging and style of music, Avenue Q taught us all some valuable life lessons like coping with wanting to go back to college, being as loud as the hell we want when we're having sex, and learning to not be prejudice against monsters. Okay, there's also several life lessons that actually are important, and I believe that we've each experienced and internalized different versions of these in our own way. It's just that kind of show.

A few things I'd like to share in memorandum: My dad found it fascinating that there was a Broadway show that starred puppets and had been claiming that he wants to see Avenue Q for years. Of course he had no clue what the show is actually about. Capitalizing on his enthusiasm, I burned him a CD of the songs from Q that didn't contain references to sex, porn, racism, homosexuality, or drugs...which of course left about three songs, one of which sadly being the 30-second "I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today". Finally my mom broke down and told him that his beloved puppets have sex on stage. That put an end to my hopes of that family outing.

In terms of my own sex life, Princeton and Kate's duet and the melody of "Fantasies Come True" became my own internal soundtrack for one particular college hookup. Isn't it the greatest feeling when you've totally been crushing on someone for awhile, and then one night after eight or so drinks the things in your head are really happening in your bed? Then you wake up beside the person the next morning and there's music playing and it's this magical moment and then...yah it pretty much ends there for everyone but Princeton and Kate.

In case you need further proof that Avenue Q truly is a credible Broadway sensation, I must bring up a fact which many people tend to forget. In 2004, Avenue Q beat Wicked for the Best Musical Tony Award. Something actually beat Wicked! Avenue Q kicked their ass! Now tell me that's not legit. Oh, and that penny? Resting safely in a corner of my jewelry box. Hey, I haven't totally given up hope.

All you need is a dollar and a dream?

A handful of the top shows on Broadway have what they call a "lottery", only you don't win money but rather the ability to buy cheap tickets for these in-demand shows. Most shows who run this special allot about 20-30 tickets per performance to the lottery and sell them to winners for between $20-35. Policies vary, but to enter the lottery you need to arrive at the theatre about 2 and 1/2 hours before curtain time to put your name in the drawing which takes place 2 hours before curtain. If your name is pulled, you are able to buy up to two discounted tickets for that performance. Lottery and rush policies are listed at playbill.com and on individual show websites.

Pretty cool right? These lotteries are a great way to make affordable tickets available to the public, but personally I prefer when shows offer student rush so that the cheap tickets are likely to go to those who wouldn't be able to afford going to the theatre otherwise. Not to mention the fact that usually anywhere between 100-500 people enter the lottery on a daily basis, so your odds are quite low. Especially if you're in a group of three or more people and relying on the fact that two of your names are going to be drawn.

Like I was on Saturday. My mother and cousin were in town, and on a whim we decided to enter the lottery for In The Heights. Seeing over 200 people standing outside the theatre, I was pretty much resigning myself to a night of sadly no theatre but a long relaxed dinner. Well what do you know, Wendy C gets called promptly followed by Donna K. Of course not Megan K, but at that point what did it matter? I've entered dozens of lotteries in my day and found it's pretty much a statistical impossibility that the name Megan K gets pulled. Except for the period when Rent's ticket sales were way down AND no one realized that they had Sunday evening performances so there were pretty much 25 people entered to win 20 tickets, and even then my name was called last.

So the moral of the story is that cheap tickets are good, In the Heights is great, and perhaps all you need to combine them is family with a little bit of luck. Just please not that creepy lil two-inch tall guy they have in the real NY Lotto commercials...he creeps me out.

Give my regards to Broadway, they clearly need them

The nominations for the 2009 Tony Awards were announced today and while they were pretty much what you'd expect with Billy Elliot leading the pack, there was one choice which made me question the credibility of whoever chose these nominations. It also made me sad for the state of the Great White Way in general if pickins really are this slim.

Constantine Maroulis was nominated for Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Musical for Rock of Ages. I didn't even know we were taking this show seriously as a Broadway musi-cal. Need I mention that Constantine is a washed-up American Idol 6th place winner from four years ago? I'll admit that once upon a time I was enchanted by his flowing locks, melodic voice and famous smoldering stares, but I didn't think that ish could cut it on Broadway! Clearly I was wrong. But even I have grown up and realized that Constantine is a greasy douche bag, so why haven't the people whose opinions really matter?

Also, noticeably absent from the Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Play nominations was Harry Potter's penis. Clearly this is an oversight. That lil guy did a damn good job. I guess compared to Constantine even a legitimate penis isn't enough of a dick to get a Tony nomination. Sad.

Jazz hands!

Though they can't seem to hold it together as a network to produce a single episode of American Idol that runs on time, Fox is getting both myself and critics a little excited with Glee, a new show for summer/fall that will be premiering during May sweeps. Glee will be previewing on May 19th and tells the story of a young teacher who takes over as the director of a rag-tag, seemingly talentless high school glee club. And of course there will be major dramz and love stories wrapped in with riveting musical numbers featuring some of Broadway's biggest stars. The musical theatre dork in me is bursting at the seams and pirouetting around my television set. Glee is being created and produced by Ryan Murphy who previously worked his magic with Nip/Tuck, but don't expect the smut and general absurdity to carry over, this is kind of a family show.

However, myself and girls everywhere are probably going to be getting their panties in a bunch over Matthew Morrison who plays said teacher turned glee club aficionado. Matthew has done a ton of Broadway which would be a turn-off for most girls, but it makes me really horny seeing sexy men spontaneously burst into song. Upping the hotness factor even more, he was briefly in the boyband LMNT (formed from several O-Town rejects and friends, best known for the musical masterpiece "Juliet"), but he's smart so he quit that shiz before most people even knew it existed.

Hotties, jazz hands, and melodramatic high school plot lines? Yah, I'm on board.

Nice junk, sign my Playbill?

I don't go to the theatre for the nudity...really

After months of fantasizing and many dirty, dirty thoughts, I finally dragged my ass to the theatre and got student rush tickets to "Equus" on Broadway with my outdated student ID (thank you S**** Hall University for not putting expiration dates on IDs, and congrats to me for still looking as young and fabulous as I did many moons ago when my photo was taken!). For those of you who have been living under a rock, the current revival of Peter Shaffer's play "Equus" not only is a great literary and theatrical work...but Daniel Radcliffe aka Harry Potter also gets completely nekked in it. And who wouldn't wanna see that?

Penises aside, this is a beautifully done play. The story of "Equus" surrounds a young stable hand and his conflicted relationship with horses. The horses are artistically portrayed by men in minimal costume with a steel horsehead mask and hooves to indicate their equine nature. Though the men cast as horses had no lines, their amazing talent still was still exposed through their intricate and extremely accurate movement and body language. Radcliffe and fellow "Harry Potter" actor Richard Griffiths headlined this extremely talented cast, and both men could easily receive Tony nominations.

Radcliffe's nude scene is artistically and naturally done, but judging by the conversation of those around me, society still hasn't fully gotten past the novelty of seeing Harry Potter's magic wand. What the hell, I may be a true, mature theatre lover, but I'll admit that I felt a naughty tingle of the magic. And the fact that I chose to see "Equus" when I've never before seen a non-musical on Broadway of course had nothing to do with the promised peep show, honestly.

But this raises the issue: How do you treat someone after you've "artistically" seen their penis? Occasionally when I see a show with a big name star or an actor who's given a truly inspiring performance, I do the stage door thing and wait outside to meet the cast after the show. However, as much as I would have loved to have been able to say that I met Harry Potter, I MEAN, Daniel Radcliffe, I decided against seizing the opportunity. Not that waiting at a stage door in the bitter New York winter to meet someone is the most natural of circumstances, but really, what are you to say to someone after starting at their penis for a solid ten minutes "Nice junk, sign my Playbill?"

I'm allowed to stare, it's ART!

So when I read that "Spring Awakening" on Broadway is closing in January I knew I had to make a point of seeing it ASAP. I've had the music on the ipod for awhile and it's been on the mental to-list, so with this news and a fellow theatre-loving friend in town for the weekend, I figured that it was about damn time.

As far as Broadway musicals go, "Spring Awakening" held its own. Idk if it really deserved a Best Musical Tony in 2007, but to be honest nothing all that special has come out in years. (Well, except for of course "Legally Blonde: The Musical" and the very credible matching reality tv show). Admittedly, I do now have all the music stuck in my head and am trying desperately not to break into song at work, so "Spring Awakening" did its job.

However, I'm about to loose all theatre street cred when I say that one of the best moments of the show was...Hunter Parrish's butt. I know this musical is "edgy" and "sexually free" and all, and as an audience member I'm supposed to be mature about this. But how am I supposed to keep my mind out of the gutter when you cast the amazingly sexy Hunter Parrish (of "Weeds" fame) in the role of Melchior Gabor, have him pull down his pants showcasing his toned yet juicy ass, and proceed to simulate a sex scene?

Me thinks that maybe due to the nature of the show it is designed to allow horny young women like myself to slip into sexual fantasy? Even in my most mature, art connoisseur mindset, there is no way I could not view this as sexy. Am I allowed to feel this way, producers/directors of "Spring Awakening"? Or do I have to grow the hell up and stop fantasizing about 21 year old boys?

Purposeful choice of the "Spring Awakening" creative team or not: Hunter Parrish...text me?