Groupie Thrust (and other reality show winning concepts)

Television decided to kill the excitement in my life this week by having basically every major reality show come to a close. But never could I think of a better time to get on my high horse and make predictions for who is obviously going to leave reality land victorious...and thus ruin their life forever.

The Celebrity Apprentice (finale Sunday, May 23 at 9pm)

Predicted winner: Bret Michaels

With a high level of innovation and task-winning concepts such as the "Groupie Thrust" workout, it's a given that Bret Michaels is more than qualified to be Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice. Plus The Donald loves publicity, and naming Bret Michaels as the winner would definitely carry the perfect timing and cool factor that Holly Robinson Pete (btw, who?) clearly lacks.

The Biggest Loser (finale Tuesday, May 25th at 8pm)

Predicted winner: Ashley

This one comes down to math. The winner of The Biggest Loser usually loses just under 50% of their starting weight. However, due to the larger starting size of the contestants and the longer length of this season, I think the bar is going to be raised this year on total weight loss percentage. Most boys have a hard time topping 50% without looking anno, Michael could do it but probably not in the time frame, which leaves Ashley who easily has the time and ability to get down to about 185 (she started in the 370's) and look smokin hawt.

Dancing with the Stars (finale Tuesday, May 25th at 9pm)

Predicted winner: Evan Lysacek

I really think he can take out Nicole Scherzinger. He is just as good of a dancer, and I think/hope the American voters are starting to realize she's a huge bitch. My prediction is completely unbiased...despite the fact that Evan is my future husband.

American Idol (finale Wednesday, May 26th at 8pm)

Predicted winner: Lee DeWyze

This is the biggie. The reality show that changes the life AND career of the winner for good, but probs not for the better. Who doesn't want to sign their life and creative control away to a now-irrelevant media monster? Lee has grown on me throughout the season and despite his blahs will probably win. The interesting thing about the final week of Idol is that it's the only time viewers can use defensive voting. If you dislike one contestant, voting for the other directly and strongly effects the outcome being that there are only 2 choices left. A lot of people (myself included) find Crystal Bowersox annoying and will vote for Lee just to ensure that the weird hippie doesn't win.