Who-the-eff Rehab?

The cast of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew season 3 was just announced, and now more than ever before I think we need to look up "celebrity" in the dictionary. And no, urbandictionary.com does not count. Pick up the book version, readin' is power y'all! But my standards are gutter-low, so if I don't consider these people celebrities there is no chance in hell that anyone else is going to.

If your only claim to fame is a reality show, you should not be going on another reality show that has "celebrity" in the title. You are not a celebrity. I'm not talking about the Stephen Baldwins of the world who have a famous family, did one lousy movie ten years ago, or appeared in 80's Tiger Beat centerfolds. Stephen is more of a celebrity than this year's hot mess rehab-ers could ever dream of being. I'm talking to you, Joey Kovar and Lisa D'Amato. (Ugh, why did I even waste the energy typing their last names? Nobody knows these losers...) Joey was the guido on The Real World: Hollywood (worst season EVER) for a hot sec before leaving to go into rehab. Guess that didn't work out so much. Lisa was a reject from cycle 5 of America's Next Top Model who got drunk and talked to trees (interpret it as you may). That was 7 seasons ago! Survey says: irrelevant!

But I really shouldn't be making fun of people who are struggling with addiction or the reality shows that exploit them. That's not nice. Oh, who am I kidding. If they put this crap on basic cable they are just asking for it!