8:00pm - Tonight is slated to have yet another dose of scandal...can't wait!
8:03pm - Butttt first they're going to make us sit through introspective commentary and flashbacks of how all the guys are falling sooooo in love with Ali. I love watching the same clips for the thousandth time.
8:07pm - Frank admits he may still be in love with his ex, but is also falling in love with Ali. So he just has to confont Nicole the ex about his feelings. Cue the commercial, the drama has officially started!
8:11pm - Frank admits he hasn't talked to Nicole in months, but thinks she still may have feelings for him too. Who did the dumping in this situation? Oh the mystery!
8:15pm - Frank is talking to Nicole, who was apparently shattered when Frank left her. Frank admits he would think about Nicole and not Ali as he fell asleep at night. This conversation is intense and there are a lot of awkward silences.
8:18pm - Frank and Nicole are nuzzeling foreheads. Nicole says she can't live without Frank, and apparently he can't live without her either because he says she's the one he wants to be with forever. Now he just needs to fly to Tahiti and tell Ali. SO MUCH DRAMA! But seriously, Frank, that was a quick decision...
8:24pm - In all the Frank drama I almost forgot...this is fantasy suite week!! Thank you for reminding me, Ali. Let the Tahitian sexin begin!
8:26pm - Roberto has the first date, and they're going on a helicopter tour. Wtf is up with the abnormal amount of helicopters this season? This is seriously like the 4th or 5th heli-date. Lame.
8:29pm - Now they're having a picnic and frolicking on a heart-shaped island. Vomit. They're def gettin it on later.
8:40pm - They're at dinner and Roberto is having trouble expressing his emotions, but finally tells Ali that he's falling in love with her. The card from Chris Harrison arrived and Roberto acts all surprised to find a key inside. Well played, sir. Annnnnd they're off to the fantasy suite because Ali "doesn't want to lose a minute of time with him."
8:47pm - Next up is Chris L. And they're going on a boat motha fuckas.
8:51pm - Now they have to swim over to another island for the second part of their date? No thanks, I'd be staying on the motha fuckin boat.
8:52pm - Oh, by "swim" they meant "Ali straddles Chris while he walks over to the island".
8:54pm - Now they're finding pearls, which is actually pretty cool...until Ali uses the pearls as a metaphor for their relationship. Again, lame.
8:58pm - Ugh, Ali's tie dye tunic top is horrific. Fashion Fail!
9:02pm - Chris also opened up with his emotions during dinner. I mean, you pretty much have to at this point to stay in the game. And off to the fantasy suite they go!
9:04pm - Chris L said the L word! Not even just "falling in love", his direct quote was "God I love you!" He's def gettin laid now.
9:10pm - Frank arrives in Tahiti to tell Ali his decision. But first he's going to talk to Chris Harrison. This is going to be an intense 15-20 minutes. Lots of sighing and awkward silences.
9:13pm - You can so tell Chris Harrison wants to punch Frank in the face.
9:22pm - Now Frank and Ali are finally having their talk. This is super hard to watch.
9:27pm - They're both crying. Ali can't understand why Frank didn't bring up Nicole sooner. I mean, duh. It's obviously not a great situation for Ali, but I think Frank handled this as best as he could.
9:30pm - Ali is really upset. But I can't tell whether she's truly upset about losing a shot at love with Frank, or just upset that she got dumped.
9:34pm - Ali, stop mentioning how you gave up your freakin job to be here. No one cares. You say Frank is being selfish, but you're being just as selfish be holding the whole "quitting your job" thing over everyone's heads.
9:47pm - Nothing is really happening...except for my level of "like" for Ali going down and down...
9:56pm - So since Ali has two roses and two guys left they each get one, but she wants to make a big to-do about making sure they're accepting the roses with their whole hearts and fully committing to her. Foreverrrrrrrrr.
10:00pm - "The Men Tell All" next week. Always a good time. There were some serious crazies this season and I can't wait to hear what they have to say.
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