Poise is like Herpes: Miss USA 2010

Tonight was the Celebrity Apprentice Reunion The Miss USA pageant brought to you by The Donald and friends. Miss Michigan Rima Fakih won the title and was my favorite for most of the pageant. She is gorgeous and one fierce biotch as proven by her dramatic swimwear walk, graceful recovery from a noticeable stumble, and poses for daysssss. I also was rooting for Rima, who is Lebanese American, because I don't believe we've ever seen a major national pageant queen of Middle-Eastern descent. However, perhaps that factor undeservedly propelled Rima to the title among a final five that was rounded out by blonde white girls. In my opinion, Rima blew it in the final question when she giggily claimed that of course health insurance should cover birth control pills because they're a "controlled substance", "can be costly", and even threw in a thought provoking "hi Mom". Several of the other ladies bombed their questions as well, and at that point the title should have easily gone to Miss Oklahoma who eloquently spoke on behalf of states' rights to make and enforce their own laws. Or it just should have been ME!

Now a few other moments that made this hot mess fun to watch:

"You can't buy poise. It's like Herpes: you either have it or you don't." - Joan Rivers during her backstage color commentary. Sounds like some white trash version of The Countess LuAnn de Lessepes's new song.

One contestant who was wearing a red evening gown with the midriff cut out described her dress as "red, sexy, and flowy...just like me." So you see yourself like a period?

Miss Virginia described her evening gown as "sophisticated in the front". The dress had a high neckline, but a slit right down the middle completely revealing her breasts. But I'll forgive this lack of judgment because she had the best hair in the competition.

Doing a choreographed dance to country music is awkward.

Host Curtis Stone blatantly wanting to sleep with basically every contestant. And his co-host Some Broadcast Chick constantly making awkward jokes about it. But it's okay because basically every contestant wanted to sleep with him too (and why wouldn't they?). One contestant even offered to cook her famous grilled cheese sandwich for him the morning after they you-know-what...

This has gone too far

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I love pageants, and I was watching on Sunday night when this went down. I knew at the time it was an "oh-snap" moment, but I am surprised that we as a country are taking it this far. I'm surprised at you, Perez Hilton. I don't usually like to get too political on this blog, and let's just say that my answer to the question would not have been the same as Miss California's, but after watching the above video I feel the need to share my thoughts about how this is being handled.

In regard to the answer itself, since when do we as Americans who are granted FREEDOM OF SPEECH have the right to tell someone that her opinion is wrong? Miss California had the right to express the views she did, but it was some of her justification that I had a problem with. She uses the word "choose" several times, notably "we live in a land that you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage." "Opposite" marriage flub aside, Miss California, we are not able to choose what type of marriage we want. First, only a small number of states allow same-sex marriage. Not many choices there. Secondly, if she was implying that you can choose whether you're attracted to the same or opposite sex, THAT I have a problem with. I have no problem with the latter part of her answer that most of the media is harping on where she states that she believes marriage should be between a man and a woman. She has the right to believe whatever she wants.

I expected this to get media attention, but with the numerous post-incident interviews and apologies and revoking of apologies, I am sick of this and disappointed that we can't just let bygones be bygones. Carrie Prejean, Miss California, is not our new Miss USA. Her views do not officially of unofficially represent that of our country and thus they do not effect you. Go to Alabama where people are expressing these same views, only without the spray tan, eloquence, and general respect for all people. Throw in the word "faggot" that still comes out of many people's mouths in 2009 and would still come out even with a camera in front of them, and then try to tell me that Miss California is a "bitch" and a "cunt". Perez, I am disappointed that you are treating this young woman in this manner. In your mind, there was only one right answer to your pageant question and since it wasn't given, anything else became offensive and scandal worthy. Very closed minded in my opinion. How dare we actually have a healthy debate of ideas? If we were all the same, life would be boring, and we wouldn't have "scandals" like this for people like Perez Hilton to get their panties in a bunch about.

So Carrie P, I'll have your back any day girlfriend.