8:01pm - Why are the judges holding hands as they walk out? Ew. And "shocking elimination of Alexis Grace last week"? Who was shocked, the conspiring producers?
8:06pm - Motown Week. Holy Botox, Smokey Robinson!
8:09pm - Ugly Justin starts us off tonight. Sorry, still don't want to "get it on" with you.
8:13pm - Matt G a front runner? Ehhh I wouldn't go that far.
8:20pm - Kris "Eye Candy" Allen is obvi super hot but boring and forgettable. My God I sound like Simon. Homeboy needs to give America what they want and sex it up a bit!
8:29pm - Do you think Scott even realizes how little his outfit matches?
8:33pm - Thank you, Scott, for another boring performance behind the piano. Yay for the awkward backup singers!
8:35pm - Please tell me I'm not seeing the bulge I think I am in Blind Guy's too-tight pink pants...
8:39pm - Does anyone understand why Paula just gave Simon crayons and a coloring book? And did Ryan really just ask Scott how he knew he was wearing pink pants? Not that I wasn't thinking the same thing, but I just didn't know you were allowed to say shit like that on television.
8:44pm - Has Megan Corkery like totes dropped her last name now? Guess it's just "Megan Joy" now. Must be her old stripper name.
8:46pm - And what is this hot mess of a vocal performance? So this season's Kristy Lee Cook...but sluttier.
8:55pm - Anoop is also delivering one hot mess of a performance...but in a weirdly sexy way. But homeboy def needs to do something about those brows.
8:58pm - Did Paula change rings during the commercial break? For reals, she had on some shiny golfball before and switched to some black shiny cockroach looking thing. Watch the tape you know I'm right, bitches!
8:59pm - How the hell did the judges actually think that was a good performance? Conspiracy!
9:08pm - Go back to drilling oil, Oil Man! You don't belong here! And wtf is that hideous gold choker with a dog tag? Where do they even find these people? GOSH!
9:18pm - Everything else on this show has been a hot mess, but Lil Rounds's shoes during her one-on-one with Smokey are FIERCE!
9:20pm - This is Lil Rounds's week. Girlfriend is turnin it out!
9:24pm - Wtf with the negativity, Randy, Kara, and Simon? I thought the judges would be creaming their pants over this shiz. Conspiracy!
9:32pm - The god of eyeliner is channeling Zefron in "Hairspray" with the look...that's hot.
9:34pm - Simply amazing. No one can touch the Lambert. Don't even TRY to argue with me on this.
9:44pm - The Gokster...lookin good! And love the dance moves with the backup singers. A lil cheese never hurt anyone.
9:51pm - Allison (who I tend to forget even exists), what's up with the mumbling? At least it'll cover her ass if she forgets the words because she's not even SAYING words!
9:54pm - ...AND Paula has a drawn on mustache. It's officially time for this night to end.
9:59pm - So I'll put out my predictions which are sure to be wrong...Bottom 3: Megan Joy, Allison, and Oil Man, with Oil Man going home? Ehhh why do I even try? Just vote Lambert!
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