Top Chef All-Stars is going to be sweet

Bravo, thank you! You really know how to pick an all-star cast. Season 8 of Top Chef is going to include 18 previous contestants returning for a full season of competition. The cast was announced last night, and I must say there's not one person who I would have wanted to watch not make the list. Maybe Stephen from TC7, but even I know better than to put him on an all-star list. Bravo found the perfect balance between the hot messes with over the top personalities and the people who were truly the best chefs who just missed winning the title. Smart move to bring Tre back, he truly was a kick ass chef who was sent home far too early (8th place). I'm really hoping that Marcel will bust out some new jams like "They say my food lacks salt and pepper, but I'm like yo man, whatever" as well as generally antagonize people. Casey and Jennifer are easily two of the hottest women ever to compete on TC and can still absolutely cook, and male eye candy will be provided in the form of Spike (or Fabio I guess, if you're into suave Italian men with accents).

I think 18 contestants may be a bit too many, but since we already know the names and the personalities it should still be manageable to follow in the early episodes. Plus the large number of contestants likely means exciting double eliminations or being eliminated on Quick Fires to speed up the process. Top Chef All-Stars is being taped in New York City, so I'm just hoping for the chance to stalk them possibly have a totally random TC sighting.

Celeb sightings: Reality star edition

Spotted: Project Runway season 4 alum Kevin Christiana at the Barrow Street Ale House in the West Village last Thursday. He still looks exactly the same as he did on ProRun back in 2007 is easily recognizable with his signature facial hair. None the less, my gentlemen companion asked how the hell I recognized him, and sadly I had to admit it's because I watch way too much television.

Spotted: Current Top Chef contestant Ed Cotton at the bar of the Smyth Hotel in Tribeca, where he is the executive chef of their Plein Sud restaurant. Friday night I was pre-gaming with some friends who were hotel guests, and in walks a familiar looking man in a chef coat. After having a total omg moment, we went over and talked to him for about 20 minutes. He could not have been cooler! He's still with the girl he was dating during the show, and he has been with Plein Sud since they opened almost 6 months ago (with a slight break to do a lil TV show on Bravo, you may have heard of it...) Apparently there's still no proof about what happened during Pea-Puree-Gate 2010, although to me the case seems pretty obvious and totally rules in Ed's favor. As of press time Ed is one of the final 6 contestants on the show, and I think he has a great shot at the title. Team Ed!

"Top Chef" afraid to get freaky?

Top Chef: DC started this week which means the summer TV lineup just got a huge boost, but I need to take umbrage with the first elimination decision for more reasons than one. John got eliminated during the premiere for his maple puff thingey, but it seemed like other contestants got harsher criticism like Jaqueline and Stephen the "hick" from Ohio. (eff you, Tracey, for saying that. don't get me started on you...) I thought the judges would have given John bravery points for attempting a dessert, but then again after seven seasons everyone should know better than to make a dessert on Top Chef. And if you absolutely have to, you make fruit.

More interestingly, I've been noticing a pattern with the first eliminated contestants over the past two seasons of Top Chef. They seem to be quickly eliminating the "freaks" with little culinary reason, which surprises me from a liberal network like Bravo. Are they scared or something? Are they worried the one conservative Bible-loving straight male who watches Bravo is going to be too weirded out? Jen, a young woman with huge gauged ear piercings and neck tats, was eliminated first from Top Chef: Las Vegas, followed by dread-locked John from the DC season who seemed to really love his maple trees if ya know what I mean. The remaining contestants are pretty white-bread, with the exception of flamboyant Arnold who hired a personal stylist and got a facial in preparation for the show (I'm also pretty sure he's a drag performer, unconfirmed though). Clearly he's my favorite.

C'mon, Bravo. Grow a pair and keep the "freaks". America can handle a bad tat or unwashed dreads as long as they bring it. (Hello? Crystal Bowersox?)

It's "Top Chef", not "Top SexPot"

On Wednesday Michael Voltaggio was crowned the winner of Top Chef: Las Vegas, season 6 of the popular Bravo series. Though Mike had a good showing throughout the competition, the winner of Top Chef has historically been decided almost solely by the dishes made in the final challenge and has not been cumulative by any means. Looking at the judges' comments shown during the finale, it certainly didn't seem like Michael's food was their favorite that night. I thought it looked like almost certainly they were going to choose Brian Voltaggio (brotherly rivalries are obvi great for ratings), especially since he banged out a great dessert and Michael pretty much blew it.

Speaking of banging and blowing, how hot is Michael Voltaggio? He's such a badass and can be a total douche bag, but it totally works. Michael is sexy and was one of the only standout personalities during this season, which to some extent may have accounted for his win in what was by far the closest matchup in Top Chef history between the brothers V and Kevin Gillespie. No randos snuck into the finale (Lisa in season 4, Carla in season 5), so the choice of a winner had to come down to tiny mistakes in the cooking...or who's win could make for the best story line. Sorry Kevin, but even if you didn't make some crucial mistakes I saw a plot with it coming down to the two brothers a mile away.

Top Chef is also probably the hardest reality show for a viewer to truly judge accurately through the televizzle, and thus the easiest for the producers to have say in the outcome. Compared to a purely visual art like fashion (Project Runway) or auditory art like music (American Idol), the culinary world is roughly only 20% visual and largely 80% taste, a sense which cannot be experienced by a viewer. We have the judges' comments to help us, but there is mucho editing which will never allow the viewer to receive the full story. We can follow Top Chef and know who we want to win, but it's pretty much impossible for anyone (even a culinary expert viewer) but Tom and Padma to really know who deserves to win.

Was Michael a strong contender for the title? Surely. Was his food the best during the finale? We'll never know. Would I hit it? Obvi.