I saw right through this biotch

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Video has emerged of fired and allegedly sexually harassed banker Debrahlee Lorenzana discussing and undergoing plastic surgery. This video from the Long Island Plastic Surgical Group depicts Lorenzana's journey through her second set of breast implants, complete with graphic footage from the operating room. Highlights from the video are between the 2-3:30 minute mark where Lorenzana claims that she wants the body of a Playboy Playmate, thinks plastic surgery is the best thing ever, and wants to look like "tits on a stick". Throughout the whole video Lorenzana presents herself as a sexual being, admits wanting to look sexy to find and keep a rich husband, and shows a complete disregard for personal health or having a proportional, normal looking body.

Did I see right through this tramp or what? Debrahlee Lorenzana is clearly a woman who willingly puts her sexuality on display and wants attention. Who the hell makes such asinine comments on camera AND allows their private body parts during plastic surgery to be filmed? Even Dr. 90210 blurs out the nips! Not to mention the money she's irresponsibly been pissing away on 3 cosmetic surgeries. My little sympathy for this woman is definitely gonzo.

Hot for banker

A news story is making all the girly blogs upset today because a very attractive female business banker was fired from a job at Citibank, allegedly because her looks, clothing and sexuality were distracting in the workplace. The woman in question, Debrahlee Lorenzana, is obviously suing. If everything said and documented is to be true (which I always give people the benefit of the doubt until I see inconsistencies), then Lorenzana obviously has a case and was wrongly treated.

The choices she is making now, however, are ruining my impression of her. In a photo shoot for The Village Voice, Lorenzana is dressed in her "business attire" including an extremely low-cut beige satin blouse and a white skin-tight bandagelike dress. Her posing is more Maxim than Fortune, and her facial expressions are way too "come hither" to be seen as professional. These are in sharp contrast to photos directed by her lawyer (also pictured in the Voice article) where she looks professional, polished, and attractive in a black pantsuit. It seems that now that major press is involved, Lorenzana may be capitalizing in the wrong way. She is also all too quick to elaborate on her Latin heritage, poverty-stricken upbringing, and financial troubles after the firing. Lorenzana then makes the mistake of noting her 5 closets full of Hermes and Louis Vuitton outfits. If you're going for the sympathy card, don't mention the LVs.

Something about the article also bothers me in terms of consistency. In the second paragraph of the article it claims that her bosses cited work performance as the reason for termination, but on the third page it reads that her female manager at a new branch mentioned clothing complaints and not work performance during the firing. This may be a journalistic error, but clouds my judgment of the case none the less.

It all seems a little exaggerated and put-on for me. I just know I've never done my banking with so many "extras" on display as are being depicted in Lorenzana's pictures...

RIP, El Chupa

Unfortunately Michael K at dlisted beat me to the Rachel Zoe joke, but I wouldn't have made one anyway because I LOVES her.

The Chupacabra is fondly known as the "Mexican Goat Sucker" and believed to be a mythical creature who preys on farm animals. Well mythical no more, bitches, I always knew homeboy was real! The Chupa(s) are described in real-life sightings as large dog-rodents with fangs, leathery skin, and sometimes spikes on their backs. I was first introduced to the Chupa in 12th grade AP Physics class, and it has since become a running joke amongst many groups of my friends. In junior year of college (circa 2006) I spent a glorious afternoon with an ex-friend watching el Chupa star in a great movie on the Sci-Fi Channel, Chupacabra: Dark Seas. In this MASTERPIECE, our goat-sucking friend (who is portrayed in a much larger, more monstrous form) somehow gets aboard a cruise ship and starts attacking all the passengers. We nicknamed it Chupacabra: Semester at Sea. Finally during a 2008 camping trip in P-Town, my friend Kelly and I were pretty sure it was going to attack us even though we were thousands of miles away from its home.

So this week el Chupa made a dumb move and decided to get himself poisoned, but this does not mean the end of him. Clearly there are more than one of these lil guys running around Texas and Mexico and probably even your backyard. It's 11am, do you know where your goats are?

Video from cnn.com