Live Blogging: American Idol

8:04pm - I love how they used to have to sing 3 songs when they were in the top 3, but now that they added a useless fourth judge they only have to sing 2. Which means no Clive Davis pick. Kara ruins everything.

8:06pm - I have no clue what the hell this song Paula picked for Danny actually is, but he's killing it. He so needed to after last week's catastrophe.

8:14pm - Kris has chipped blue nail polish on during his at-home visit when he's checking his "surprise" cell phone with his song assignment text. Someone's been spending too much time with Glambert.

8:16pm - And his version of "Apologize" is boring me to tears. Even his pretty face can't keep me entertained through this crap. Because it actually isn't as pretty as I originally thought.

8:20pm - Why are the judges even pretending like that was finals-worthy? I hate how they're rigging their comments this season!! At least Simon is putting these bitches in their place.

8:25pm - Now look at the god of eyeliner's nails. Flawless, un-chipped, and fierce!

8:28pm - If you just watched Adam's performance of U2's "One", along with the two mediocre-messes that preceded it, and still don't think that Adam deserves to win...you don't deserve to be watching this show and clearly aren't cool enough to be reading this blog. We are not friends.

8:31pm - As fierce as The Glambert usually is, let it be known that he is wearing a Canadian Tuxedo tonight. Hot mess.

8:36pm - That is a rockin remix of Toto that is playing in the "Carrie Underwood is so goodhearted because she does a forced visit to an African village" video clip. Though somewhat expected.

8:39pm - We just wasted a whole segment between commercials to watch Carrie Underwood play with starving orphans. Really?

8:45pm- The Gokster just seduced every woman in America into voting for him with "You Are So Beautiful To Me". Yet I'm still voting for the gay guy. Go figure.

8:49pm - The judges swooned over it. And The Gokster made a heart with his fingers. Welcome to the finals.

8:50pm - Kris Allen, who they conveniently remind us is from Arkansas, is singing Kanye West's "Heartless". One of these things is not like the other one... Good vocal I guess but what the hell was that? Awkward turtle...

8:52pm - America, STOP LISTENING TO THE JUDGES RIGHT NOW!! They are messing with your brains. That was awkwardly bad, NOT innovative. Did you see the episode of that performing arts high school show on MTV where the annoying white girl sang "Heartless" in the school talent show, or "showcase" as it's called when these schools take themselves too seriously? Yah, Kris was worse.

8:57pm - Adam, you need to kick so much ass to counteract the manipulation these judges are pulling tonight! I am worried for you. Work! *snaps fingers*

9:00pm - Homeboy turned it out with "Cryin" (early Aerosmith, right Kara?). And thank goodness. That was incredible.

9:03pm - Annnnnd what time is it? If this isn't a Gokster/Glambert finale there is something wrong with the world. If Adam gets cut I refuse to watch next week because I wouldn't be able to stand the sight of him in the group numbers wasting his best years waving a rose in the back of a corps, because he's better than that.

Cookie to anyone who gets the movie reference.