Bonus round!

Normally I don't blog about Idol results night because nothing actually happens. And I especially wasn't planning on blogging tonight because I wanted to just kick back and relax, but as I've been watching the red carpet on the TV Guide channel my bitchery just couldn't contain itself so here we go. A mini-live blog if you will.

Jason Castro is definitely high. But that's no surprise. Homeboy arrived so early because he woke up from a nap and couldn't find a clock so just but out his blunt and rolled out. But don't worry, he packed one for later.

Also pretty sure Chikezie is drunk. No one wears a sailor hat because they're sober.

I find it very funny when finalists who were the first to be eliminated walk the carpet like they're hot ish. David "I used to be a gay stripper" Hernandez, I'm talking to you. You're actually lucky you were a stripper because otherwise we'd have nothing to remember you by.

They even let someone we don't even remember do the actual red carpet interviews, hi Brandon Rogers! For not doing Idol Gives Back this year they certainly still kept up the charity work.

Bringing back Nick Mitchell aka "Norman Gentle" just made my life!! (remember shiny rainbow shirt guy?) Now all they need is that Nathaniel guy who rocked the lip piercing and Kate Gosselin haircut. And ya know, he was pretty gay too.

Omg, this Black Eyed Peas performance with backup dancers in black and white optical illusion print full body stockings complete with face mask are tripping me out like woah. Jason Castro is loving this. Plus did anyone see the quick shot of Megan Cockery doing some robotic slut dance? Not to mention the boo-boo where clearly either someone said something naughty or the control room staff effed up. Loves the production value this season.

Can someone just silence Kara and inform her that her 15 minutes are over? Seriously annoying. Do not try to mess with Katrina. Long live Bikini Girl!

Of course Adam Lambert's performance with Kiss (and his cage-like jacket/platform boot fashion combo) was amazing and like nothing anyone has ever seen before on the Idol stage. Not that we have much control at this point, but if he doesn't win after that somethin ain't right yo.

Megan Cockery and Daisy de la Hoya of Rock and Daisy of Love fame have nearly identical moon tattoos on their shoulders. Great hoes think alike.

It's now the end, and I'm laughing. Great job voting, America. Here's wrapping up a great season lol. No really, I'm laughing out loud.