Fun times at...K-Mart!

Megan, exhausted, approaches an overly enthusiastic tweener cashier at her local K-Mart (yes, they have those in Manhattan) after a long day of work. She clutches her purchases of TP, Oscar Meyer coldcuts, Country Crock, and glazed Pop'ems...only the essentials in life.

"Oh wow, I didn't even know we sold these!" chirps the young cashier while holding the coldcuts. Her mousy brown hair limply falls around her glasses-clad face. Getting this job at K-Mart was clearly her big break. Megan looks on as her purchases are scanned, enjoying the hint of suburbia.

"Did you check the expiration dates on these?"

"Excuse me?" Megan is now snapped back to reality.

"The expiration dates. I'd always make sure to check. You don't wanna get sick ya know."

Megan laughs uncomfortably, clearly weirded out. "Yah, I guess not."

"No, really, it's important. You never know when one day you're gonna get sick from something. I'm always cautious about these things here. This one time I heard..."

Upon this comment, Megan snatches the Country Crock out of Hannah Montana's hand and frantically looks for the stamped date, and wondering if she'll even find one at all. December 27, 2008. Sigh of relief.

"Thanks, have a nice night!!!"

It's so nice to know that employees have so much confidence in their own store's product. Nothing like a scare of sickness and death to make to make a girl's trip to K-Mart something to remember. Despite the blue light specials and bargain shopping, Megan will now be buying her groceries at Gristedes only.