Team Chantal! Well, actually I don't like either of the final two ladies all that much, but I'm def not Team Emily. Really I'm Team Michelle to become The Bachelorette! Here we go...
8:01pm - Boring recap package... Time to load up on snacks and drinks!
8:05pm - In case you somehow missed it, we're in South Africa. Brad's family has flown out to help him pick a lady, and it is so touching how emotional Brad gets when he sees them. He's such a good ole' boy!
8:07pm - After a very long and dramatic pause, Brad reveals that he is 100% considering proposing to someone at the end of this whole process. Well...yah, I think we already knew that didn't we?
8:10pm - Doorbell rings and Chantal arrives. And wait, one of the brothers is Brad's twin?!? They so don't look it. And the other one is younger?!? They're both married though, chillax ladies.
8:14pm - Okay, maybe they do look more alike than I realized. Brad's hotter though. But really, Brad's Mom, you named your sons Brad and Chad?
8:17pm - Chantal is definitely hitting it off with Brad's family, but I guess it's pretty easy to do so when you keep talking about how amazing he is and how much you want to marry him. And she's definitely ready for marriage...just ask her.
8:23pm - Ugh after not hearing it for two weeks I almost forgot how annoying Emily's baby voice was. "Hiiiii..." Her turn to meet the fam.
8:27pm - So Emily tells her sob story, obvi. And hearing the way she tells this story I'm still just not convinced that she's emotionally over her ex and ready to fully give herself to someone else.
8:32pm - Brad's family seems to be totally captivated by Emily and her sob story difficult past. I'm getting worried that she's going to get the sympathy win which pisses me off because I've never seen her and Brad connect on anything other than her situation and her daughter. Who is EMILY, and aside from being the Southern Ken and Barbie how do her and Brad connect as people? Hmmm?
8:39pm - The editing in the conversation between Brad and his mother made it so hard to know who they were talking about at any given moment. She likes Emily better but feels more comfortable around Chantal? Whattt? But the fam is def Team Emily.
8:46pm - For their date, Brad and Chantal are going swimming with sharks. Totes safe. Why do so many dates on this show have to involve the girl being scared and crying?
8:57pm - Chantal presents Brad a present of...a handmade map with all the places they've been labeled? Wow, I didn't realize 5th grade social studies projects were good gifts for the guy by whom you want to be proposed to.
9:05pm - Emily's final date involves a helicopter ride and amazing views. How original for this show!
9:14pm - Why is Emily giving Brad such a hard time about being ready to be a father? Brad is freakin 37 years old and shows every quality of being a great dad. Give a brotha a break.
9:25pm - Brad stares out the window iof his suite in South Africa and contemplates the two women. He's so conflicted! Gosh this is so hard!
9:28pm - Brad knows what woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with! Now it's time to pick out an outrageously expensive but comped engagement ring. And he picks a good one.
9:32pm - The girls are writing in journals and staring longingly into space while touching voiceovers play. Now they're dressing for the big night. Kinda symbolic that Chantal is wearing a vixen-esque black dress with feathers and Emily is wearing angelic white? Pathetic that I'm thinking about symbolism within The Bachelor?
9:40pm - Chantal is up first to talk to Brad, which based on Brad saying he had to do something very difficult probably means she's getting dumped.
9:42pm - "I have stronger feelings for someone else...." Annnnnd cue tears.
9:46pm - The hangy ribbon thing is totally sticking out of Chantal's dress on her left side. AND she just got dumped. All on national television. Poor gal, I was really gunning for her.
9:57pm - Brad is so cute stammering through his proposal speech. Such a great guy. Totes jels.
9:59pm - So many "I love yous" being exchanged. So many kisses. Such a happy ending for the Southern Barbie and Ken. A little too perfect and predictable of story arch for the season that it ended this way, but I can't deny that this is a touching moment. They're so damn happy it's sickening.
10:01pm - But now who's going to be the next Bachelorette? I was actually pretty sure it was going to be Emily (though that would have been such a boring season). We shall find out TONIGHT on Jimmy Kimmel. I'm so stating up late for this. It's like a little kid waiting up for Santa.
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