Live Blogging: American Idol

Slightly tipsy...this should be good.

8:00pm - Do you ever wonder whether Seacrest purposely tries to drag out the pause for as long as he can when he says "This..............is American Idol"? But I do love "songs from the year you were born" week. Yay 1984!

8:05pm - The Gokester is singing "Stand By Me". I can already feel the potential for a lot of wailing.

8:07pm - But he turns it out and the judges love it. Shocker. Another good week for the Gokester.

8:14pm - Eye Candy Kris Allen not only gets the loudest scream this side of Jonas-ville anytime they say his name, but he was also born well after me which makes me feel weird. And here I thought he was one of the older contestants. I mean, homeboy is married and on a successful national singing competition and I'm sittin here drunk on my couch in dirty sweatpants, single, writing about said singing competition. Cheers y'all.

8:16pm - Sometime between the beginning and end of my pathetic rant Kris sang his song and it was so boring I forgot to pay attention.

8:19pm - Lil Rounds is older than me...by about a week and a half. 1984 bitches wooo! You sing that Tina Turner, girlfriend!

8:23pm - I don't understand why week after week the judges slam Lil Rounds's performance...homegirl is better than most of the other rejects up in this shiz. If she's not meant to be singing Tina-like songs then what IS she meant to be singing?

8:29pm - Anoop is expected to apologize for his actions toward the judges but that hoe who got kicked off last week isn't?!? Glad to see he grew up from the hoodies to the striped grandpa cardigan though.

8:32pm - Cindy Lauper, Anoop? Really? Do we need more reasons to compare you to a drunk frat boy, or rather, sorority girl singing karaoke on a dare in a bar?

8:34pm - Am I really that drunk? How are the judges loving this shit?

8:41pm - Scott MacIntyre decided to cheat on the piano with a guitar this week. For reals, is he even playing that or are these props? And that singing, especially the high note at end was truly truly painful.

8:47pm - Allison was born in 1992. I feel so freakin old... And does season go by where somebody doesn't sing "I Can't Make You Love Me"? AND really Allison, after last week's fashion catastrophe you wear this black witch costume with chains? It's a damn good thing this girl can sing.

8:56pm - If Matt Giraud is sick of being compared to Justin you'd never know it by his fashion choices (because we've never seen a tilted fedora and leather jacket before) and soulful arrangement of "Part Time Lovers". Still uglier.

8:58pm - I hate that I liked the performance though.

9:01pm - American Idol runneth over.

9:02pm - Adam Lambert's video package (heh) is probably one of the most priceless 30 seconds of television I've seen in awhile. When discussing his childhood, Adam's mother gushes that Adam was into everything: books, music, etc. Whereupon his father interjects "not so much sports though". Spoken like a true wannabe football dad. The god of eyeliner proceeds to admit that he pretty much just liked to play dress up. Youtube this slip pronto or just wait for it to make it's inevitable appearance on The Soup this weekend. Unpause DVR, watch performance, and let the master show us how it's done...

9:04pm - So I didn't know they had emo music in 1982, but leave it to Lambert to find the first ever emo song written in history. That of course no one else has ever heard. And then sing it so that only dogs can hear. With only dim blue stage lights on and obvi tears in his eyes and sadness in his heart. But by that I mean it was AWESOME!

9:05pm - Simon gives it a standing O. Has this ever happened?!? Hot damn.

9:06pm - So I guess we'll go with a crapshoot bottom three of Blind Guy, Allison, and Lil? Can this maybe be Blind Guy's week to go home? Down with sympathy voting!