Nice junk, sign my Playbill?

I don't go to the theatre for the nudity...really

After months of fantasizing and many dirty, dirty thoughts, I finally dragged my ass to the theatre and got student rush tickets to "Equus" on Broadway with my outdated student ID (thank you S**** Hall University for not putting expiration dates on IDs, and congrats to me for still looking as young and fabulous as I did many moons ago when my photo was taken!). For those of you who have been living under a rock, the current revival of Peter Shaffer's play "Equus" not only is a great literary and theatrical work...but Daniel Radcliffe aka Harry Potter also gets completely nekked in it. And who wouldn't wanna see that?

Penises aside, this is a beautifully done play. The story of "Equus" surrounds a young stable hand and his conflicted relationship with horses. The horses are artistically portrayed by men in minimal costume with a steel horsehead mask and hooves to indicate their equine nature. Though the men cast as horses had no lines, their amazing talent still was still exposed through their intricate and extremely accurate movement and body language. Radcliffe and fellow "Harry Potter" actor Richard Griffiths headlined this extremely talented cast, and both men could easily receive Tony nominations.

Radcliffe's nude scene is artistically and naturally done, but judging by the conversation of those around me, society still hasn't fully gotten past the novelty of seeing Harry Potter's magic wand. What the hell, I may be a true, mature theatre lover, but I'll admit that I felt a naughty tingle of the magic. And the fact that I chose to see "Equus" when I've never before seen a non-musical on Broadway of course had nothing to do with the promised peep show, honestly.

But this raises the issue: How do you treat someone after you've "artistically" seen their penis? Occasionally when I see a show with a big name star or an actor who's given a truly inspiring performance, I do the stage door thing and wait outside to meet the cast after the show. However, as much as I would have loved to have been able to say that I met Harry Potter, I MEAN, Daniel Radcliffe, I decided against seizing the opportunity. Not that waiting at a stage door in the bitter New York winter to meet someone is the most natural of circumstances, but really, what are you to say to someone after starting at their penis for a solid ten minutes "Nice junk, sign my Playbill?"